


I am okay, if you are.

by harrylouistakemeaway



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A bit kinky sometimes sort of, Abusive Relationship, Anal Sex, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry moves in across the street, Jesus surely hates me, Louis is shy, Louis lives with his dick of a boyfriend, M/M, Pining, Rape, Rimming, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Smut, Violence, harry is not, lots of smut, sorry Mum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:55:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrylouistakemeaway/pseuds/harrylouistakemeaway
Summary: If life was to be dark forever, it may as well be dark with one person. Why darken the world around you, and everyone you surround yourself with? Louis swore he would stay with Tyler forever and ever because the less you love, the less you have to lose. And the less people who love you, the less people you have to disappoint...OrLouis (18) lives in a house with his boyfriend Tyler (28) and left his old life behind to do so. He lost contact with most of his friends and family and believes he’s living his best life with an abusive boyfriend. Harry moves in across the street and is about to change Louis’ outlook on his relationship.It’s inappropriate and smutty soooo be prepared and also quite graphic. I’ll put warnings at the start of chapters that have things Jesus would not appreciate.Thanks hehe
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the first chapter everyone so don’t hate me if it’s rough. There’s mild talk of sex and violence but that will happen in every chapter so.  
> Please enjoy :)

Louis was happy.

He told himself every single day.

Happier than ever, really. He lived with his boyfriend who treated him exactly how he deserved to be treated. They had a lovely home which Louis had all to himself when Tyler went to work each day. Tyler worked in a law firm, he was an attorney and always had lots of paperwork that made him very stressed. Louis would make him dinner and pour him a glass of wine to be ready the second Tyler walked through the door. 

For two years, Louis had lived happily. He didn’t need his family and friends, they were friends with the old Louis. The only one he really kept in touch with was Liam...and even Liam sometimes seems to treat Louis like he did two years ago. Louis still remembers the night he and Liam got into the bar. They were so shocked and so excited and they were actually getting served. Louis was only 16 years old...

That’s where he met Tyler. A 26 year old at the time and minus the 10 year age gap Louis found himself attached to the man after only a few weeks of speaking. They fell in love. So deeply. Which is why when Louis found himself sobbing on the floor after Tyler had a few many drinks and lashed out, he accepted the apologies and moved on. Tyler loved Louis and would never intentionally hurt him...

”Get up darling...Louis please stand up...stop crying okay I’m so sorry I’ve had the most stressful week”

But if Louis didn’t stand as he was told to...Tyler’s voice would soon turn cold.

”Louis. Stand. Now.”

And Louis would stand. And Tyler would kiss him and hug him and take him to bed. And make him breakfast the next morning and take him out on a date the next night and...

Louis was definitely in love.

So, on this warm, sunny Wednesday, while Tyler was at work, Louis worked on his ability to cook a steak. Growing up Louis was not the best cook, but after moving in with Tyler he knew he needed to improve. He still wasn’t the best and a lot of the time he bought frozen meals and pretended he made them so Tyler wouldn’t get angry.   
Just as Louis removed the steak from its packaging he heard a knock at the door. Which was odd seeing as they never usually had visitors. Louis walked to the door and opened it to see a young, fit...very fit man standing at the door with a massive warm smile. 

“Uh...can I help you?” Louis spoke softly.

“Yeah! I’m Harry I just moved in across the road and I thought I’d just sort of go house to house and introduce myself you know?” 

“Oh okay. Well I’m Louis Tomlinson...did you move in alone?”

Harry chuckled sweetly, “No no, I’m with my friends Niall and Zayn, they were just not confident enough to join me” 

Louis laughed at that, he thought it was sweet that Harry wanted to meet everyone in the neighbourhood. Him and Tyler had never made efforts to get to know people.

“So” Harry continued, “Do you live alone?”

Louis shook his head, probably slightly too vigorously, “No, I live with my boyfriend. His names Tyler he’s just at work at the moment” 

Harry grinned and said, “Oh cool! Well we’re hosting a little barbecue at our place tomorrow night so if you like you and your boyfriend can come and you can meet my friends.”

Louis smiled genuinely, “That sounds like fun, I’ll ask Tyler if we can when he gets home” 

Harry raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. Cute, Louis thought. “Well if he doesn’t want to come, you can come by yourself.”

Louis knew Tyler would not allow that, but it would be too hard to explain so he just nodded. Though he thought it would be nice to go alone...a bit of independence maybe? And he would like to hang out with people his own age. He would ask Tyler tonight. 

•~•

The table was set, the wine was poured, it was 5:46 so Tyler would be home any minute now. 

“Baby, I’m home!”

Louis ran to the door and leapt into Tyler’s arms, “I missed you” 

Tyler chuckled and rubbed Louis’ back gently, “Dinner ready?” 

“Obviously!” Louis laughed lightly pulling on Tyler’s arm to bring him slowly to the table. They sat down in their chairs and began to eat in a comfortable enough silence, though Louis could do with a conversation. He’s alone all day after all. 

“So, some people moved in across the road.” He said hesitantly.

“Oh yeah? What are they like?” 

Louis told Tyler the story of Harry coming and introducing himself and Tyler...well he listened but he didn’t look up from his food once...not a good sign.

”And anyway” Louis finished up the story, “Harry said they are gonna have a barbecue and we could maybe stop by tomorrow night and...I don’t know...could we? It seems like it would be nice to-“

“Louis...” Tyler sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Honey I just don’t know about this” 

“We could just go for five minutes please! I’m just-“ Louis cut himself off, returning his gaze to his food.

“Your just what?” 

“Bored...” Louis muttered quietly, resting his head on his fist, “I get lonely at home alone all day...I just miss you”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, this one less comfortable than the last. Before finally Tyler took a sip was his wine and said, “We can go, but stay close to me.” He lifted his hand up to Louis’ face, who drew back slightly in fear, “Don’t flinch” Tyler spoke softly, as he traced his knuckles along Louis’ cheek, “I’m not going to hurt you baby I would never do that...we can go tomorrow I promise”

“Thankyou” 

“You can make it up to me by going upstairs and getting into bed...I’ll meet you up there in a few okay?”

Louis nodded and made his way upstairs. He attempted to prep himself as he knew Tyler never did it which made sex very unpleasant for Louis but the angle was tricky and by the time he managed to get two fingers in himself the door to the bedroom opened. And Louis closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the barbecue, Louis and Harry start talking, Tyler gets pissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence towards the end

The following night, Louis was up in his and Tyler’s room getting ready to head to Harry’s barbecue. He stood in just a pair of jeans, staring into his wardrobe hopelessly. Since when did he have no clothes? All he has in simple loose tank tops and a few baggy jumpers and some trackies and one pair of jeans (the ones he’s wearing). He could have sworn when he moved here he had so much more...like that yellow black and white Vetementes jumper. It was like his favourite jumper and it was as if it had just grown legs overnight and ran away. 

Just then, Tyler entered the room and wrapped his arms around Louis from behind, giving him a little squeeze and a gentle kiss on his temple.

“What are you staring at?” He asked.

“I just- didn’t I used to have so much more to wear?” Louis sighed in frustration. 

“No baby this is all you ever had” Tyler said, letting go of Louis and grabbing one of his own t-shirts (a blue one with black stripes on the sleeves) and handed it to Louis. 

“Here,” He brushed his lips against Louis’ ear, “Be looking so sexy for daddy tonight, right baby?”

Louis internally cringed. He never liked the whole ‘daddy’ thing that Tyler always did. He always felt awkward and uncomfortable, but usually just brushed it off. Everyone has some things during sex that they just do to make their partner happy, and this was one of them. 

“Of course” Louis replied, his voice quivering slightly as he spoke.

“Louis...” Tyler warned, tightening his grip on Louis’ arm.

Louis’ heart beat quickened and his breath hitched and the change in Tyler’s tone of voice, so he replied with what he knew Tyler wanted to hear,

“Yes daddy, I’ll be looking sexy tonight just for you”

Tyler leant down and kissed Louis on the lips, with a little too much teeth for Louis’ satisfaction but he appreciated the sentiment anyway.

Harry hadn’t told Louis the exact time for an arrival but when he noticed a few people turning up he decided it was time to go and almost dragged Tyler out the door. 

They made their way across the street, Tyler gripping onto Louis arm making sure he was holding tight. Louis was his, and he would make everyone at this barbecue know it. 

They knocked on the door of the gorgeous two story house that had been empty for so long while it was on the market. It now looked joyful and welcoming. And Louis was excited. It didn’t take long for a blonde, cheery looking man roughly Louis’ age to open the door. 

“Hey, whats up guys? I’m Niall,” He smiled and opened the door wider, “Come in, come in, what are your names?” 

Louis looked at Tyler, waiting for permission to speak to someone new, but he never got the okay as Tyler kept his gaze forward at Niall while they stepped inside. His hand never leaving Louis’ upper arm.

“I’m Tyler, this is my boy Louis” Tyler said dryly. Niall smiled awkwardly and turned his gaze to Louis,

“Nice to meet you, Louis” He said with a nod, “Harry spoke to you didn’t he?” 

Louis just nodded politely.

“Wow, cant believe he managed to get a word out of you.” Niall laughed and gestured for them to follow him. He led them through to the kitchen where there were quite a lot of people hanging around. It almost blew Louis mind that for two years they had lived right by these people, and he did not recognise one face in this room besides Tyler and...

“Harry!” Niall called out, causing the man to turn around to face the sound, his eyes lighting up when he saw Louis. He walked over to where they were standing by the kitchen bench, “This is the guy you were talking about hey?” Niall spoke, pointing to Louis.

Harry was talking about him?

Harry chuckled and looked at his feet for just a couple of seconds before looking up directly meeting Louis’ eyes, “Yep, that’s the one”

Louis smiled and they kept their eyes locked for just a few more seconds before Harry looked to Tyler,

“Hey man, you must be the boyfriend, I’m Harry” He held out a hand for Tyler to shake. He didn’t accept it. Uh oh. 

“Oh so I was mentioned was I, Louis?” Tyler spat harshly, but semi-quietly. 

Harry and Niall exchanged looks, and Louis kept his gaze to the floor. 

“Hey easy, dude, he mentioned you” Harry said, carefully but eyes narrowed. Louis still kept his eyes on the floor and held his breath in an effort to keep still.

Tyler straightened up and took a deep breath, “Yeah sorry, had a stressful work week” He then held out his hand to Harry, “Nice to meet you Harry” 

And Harry shook it. 

“So what do you do for work?” He asked Tyler.

“Oh I’m an attorney at a high class law firm” Tyler responded, still rubbing circles on Louis’ back, “You?”

Harry did a sweet little laugh and said, “Oh I’m uh, I’m actually still in uni. But I work part-time at The Little Bakery, in town”

“Oh yeah we’ve been there before haven’t we babe?” 

Louis nodded again, still trying to catch Tyler’s eyes to know if he could speak. He felt so uncomfortable just standing here nodding. 

“So how old are you?” Tyler asked. Strange question, Louis thought. 

“Oh I’m 17, but Niall and Zayn are 20 so...” Harry began before Niall interrupted, placing an arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“We look after him!!” Niall shouted in Harry’s ear. 

“What about you guys?” Harry asked, pushing Niall off of him, who then got distracted by someone else and was gone in a few seconds. 

“Oh I’m 28 and Louis is 18” Tyler answered. He was almost begging Harry to have a problem with him, with them. He was pushing him, but Harry wasnt budging. 

“Wow, okay cool.” He said, putting his hands in his pockets, “So Louis what about you? Where do you work?” 

It was only now. Only now after being in this place for 10 minutes, that Tyler looked at Louis and nodded. He could now speak if he wanted. Within reason. Thank god.

“Uh, I don’t work” Louis answer shyly.

Harry nodded, and smiled, “Yeah okay, but your in Uni tho hey? Your in my modern history class?” 

That’s where Louis recognised him from! Fuck, of course! 

“Oh yeah! Yeah, you are” Louis said with a smile.

“Yeah Mr. Harris is a dick is he not?” Harry chuckled.

“Tell me about it he never shuts up about his stupid brother-“

“The one with one leg!!” Harry yelled excitedly.

“Yes! Oh my god! Finally someone who agrees with me!” Louis laughed. 

Harrys smile faltered. He looked next to Louis at where Tyler was and furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Louis, your boyfriends gone” 

And he was right. Tyler had gone. He had left. That meant one thing and one thing only. Louis fucked up, and Tyler was waiting at home. Waiting for Louis to walk in the door. On days like this Louis never knew what to expect but it was never, never, never, good. 

“Louis, did you want a drink?” Harry asked, seeming to have no worry at all about the fact that Tyler had left. 

Louis stuttered, and hummed worryingly, “Shit, sorry I- I need to go” 

“What- you just got here?” Harry groaned, throwing his head back, “You haven't met Zayn, yet”

Louis hesitated. He knew Tyler was mad, he knew he was waiting at home for Louis to come home but...he was here. In a way, he had nothing left to lose. He was already in trouble, he may as well have fun before he has to face him right? 

“Half an hour” Louis said, tilting his head, “Use it wisely” 

Harry grinned, “Follow me”

He led Louis, who was still trembling slightly due to the fact that not only did he have an angry boyfriend waiting for him at home, but he hadn’t socially interacted with people his age in about...well, since Liam.   


The two of them approached a small group of people, and Harry tapped the shoulder of a dark haired, quite dashing, young man. The man turned around and smiled at Louis,

”Oh, hey I’m Zayn” The guy said, holding a hand out for Louis to shake. Louis took his hand and introduced himself as well. Zayn told Louis that he was welcome any time he wanted, and that was comforting for Louis. For the first part of his life, he relied on a few too many people, and as it turned out, those people weren’t there for him in the long run, especially after he made the decision to move in with Tyler. His mum cried, his step dad yelled, his sisters didn’t even say anything. Not a word. Not even Lottie! And Liam...Liam just stopped texting.   


He really should call Liam.

Him and Harry soon retired to the couch in the living room. Louis was still amazed by the incredible things that these boys had done to this 50 year old house. The lights were warm yellow, the walls a soft white, they added furniture, colour, they made it theirs. The only thing in Louis’ house that was his was his clothes...though even they seemed to be going missing. 

“So, can I ask a slightly personal, possibly over the line, question?” Harry asked as he handed Louis the drink he grabbed on the way. Louis hadn’t had any alcohol aside from one glass of wine in two years. He took it quickly and sipped it longingly. He missed beer. He missed partying.   


“You can ask, I may not answer” Louis replied. He missed playing hard to get...

”Your boyfriend seems kind of...” 

”That’s not a question” Louis cut him off abruptly. He knew very well the way other people seemed to assume things about Tyler. The thing was, Louis knew the real Tyler. He knew how he was when they were alone and in love. If Tyler did something bad to Louis he instantly apologised and most importantly, he made it up to him. Every. Damn. Time.   


“Ok...look I didn’t mean to overstep I just-“

”Then don’t” 

Harry looked taken aback by Louis tone and honestly, Louis was too. Usually with that tone of voice he would get a slap...which is why when Harry lifted his hand to awkwardly scratch just below his lower lip, Louis flinched slightly. It was just instinct. And it was only small, barely noticeable. 

Harry noticed.   


“Did you think I was gonna-” Harry began, but Louis couldn’t let this go any further so he stood up quickly, cutting off Harry’s sentence.   


“I think I should go, I- thanks for the drink” 

And he was gone. He had never moved so quickly in his life. He had to escape that conversation, he was so sick of explaining his relationship over and over again. What was so hard to understand about it. At the end of the day, it’s not like Louis didn’t love Tyler, and he wasn’t afraid of him. Well, he was while he was walking home, but he wasn’t normally!   


•~•  


When Louis walked into their house, the living room was empty. The kitchen was empty. Louis wondered if the house was empty. What if Tyler just up and left? No, he wouldn’t do that. Him and Louis were going to get married and have kids. Just like he promised Louis so long ago.   


“Tyler?” Louis called out, “I’m home” 

“Upstairs” He heard Tyler call back.   


Louis made his way up the stairs and as he was walking, a figure appeared at the top of the stairs. But it wasn’t Tyler...it was a girl. She began walking down the stairs and as she got closer to Louis he was able to see how stunning she was. Why the fuck was she in Louis’ house, in his room? She didn’t even look at him as she walked past. She looked almost upset and she walked right by him and out the door. Louis picked up his pace slightly, fear creeping its way up his spine making him shiver.   


When he arrived at the door of their bedroom, he walked in to see Tyler buttoning up his shirt. As if he had taken it off. Alarm bells rang in Louis’ head as he realised why the girl was here. And his heart shattered. He wanted Tyler all to himself, he didn’t want to share.

"Get on the bed” 

“You cheated” 

Tyler held Louis’ head in his hands, “Louis, darling. I’m making you feel the exact same way you made me feel. Do you see how that’s fair- hey” He tilted Louis’ chin up to look in his eyes, “Do you see how it’s fair? Slut” 

He pushed Louis down onto the bed. Louis yelped and cried out, “No! No, no please honey!” Tyler climbed on top of him and Louis still yelled in fear, “Tyler! Please I don’t understand please help me understand then I’m yours!”

Tyler sat up, taking some weight off Louis, who was still muttering, “Help me understand, I don’t get it, I’ll do anything you want just help me” 

“Baby. That Harry kid is bad news okay?” Tyler said, his voice full of care and kindness, “He wants to take you away from me yeah?” 

Louis nodded frantically, “Yeah, yeah I know. I know but don’t worry I’m yours! I’m yours!” 

Tyler rested his forehead against Louis’ and sighed, “I just love you so much, gorgeous” 

Louis smiled as Tyler pressed their lips together sweetly.

"So perfect for me baby, so perfect, I love you so much.” Tyler kissed the corner of Louis’ mouth and hummed soothingly, “How about tomorrow I take the off work, we can go see a movie and go out for a nice lunch, and then we can come back here and watch more movies and eat snacks and- ugh Louis, baby, I just want to make it up to you” 

Louis grinned and laughed, “How about you make it up to me right now?” He wanted so badly to make Tyler happy again, he hated seeing him upset and tomorrow they would spend the whole day together and everything would be normal again. Yes, Louis was scared at first but it was just because Tyler was trying to show to him how he felt, it was his way of expressing. 

And that was fine. 

And tomorrow he would call Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler leaves Louis alone, Harry teaches him how to cook a steak. Louis calls Liam for the first time in over a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing super graphic happens in this chapter it’s all just Louis trying to get in touch with Liam and Harry trying to help Louis. 
> 
> I really appreciate everyone leaving kudos please keep it up :) it’s making my shitty week a lot better

Tyler left the next morning before Louis woke up. So much for their day together. Louis assumed that after the sex last night Tyler thought he was completely forgiven. Although that was probably fair enough right? It was one or other, the day together or a night of sex. Louis even got to have an orgasm this time, that was sort of rare nowadays. When Louis woke up he went down into the kitchen. 

It was a fucking mess.

Firstly, the dishes weren’t done. He knew Tyler had made himself breakfast and left the kitchen looking like this just to piss Louis off. But Louis did deserve it, after making Tyler feel so horrible last night. There was a glass of orange juice smashed and spilled all over the floor and the fridge was wide open. Louis then saw a note sitting on the counter next to a dirty plate of half eaten eggs on toast. He picked up the pen off the floor before grabbing the piece of paper.

Last night was amazing gorgeous, let’s do it again tonight. Steak for dinner, I love you.

Louis sighed. He still hadn’t nailed the steak. He knew Tyler liked it medium rare, but no matter what Louis did it always came out rare or well done. No inbetween. And it was just tough and gross and chewy and-

There was a knock at the door. Louis hesitated before answering it, knowing all too well it would be Harry coming to ask him about why he left so abruptly last night, and he didn’t have an answer. Louis knew how it sounded when he spoke about his relationship, he had heard it all before. Tyler was ‘abusing’ him, he was ‘using’ him, he was his ‘sugar baby’, his ‘twink’. 

People never realised how much Louis loved Tyler, and how much Tyler loved him. 

Louis opened the door anyway, as he was too polite not to, his mother raised him well.

And of course, there was Harry. Swaying a little on his feet almost guiltily. 

“Harry...” Louis said, shuffling his feet nervously.

“Louis,” Harry greeted in return, before looking behind Louis and into the house, “Your scary boyfriend isnt home right?” 

“N-no” Louis said.

“Can I come in?”

Louis hesitated, because he knew what Harry was going to talk to him about. And he didn’t want to have that conversation.

“Sure”

Fuck.

•~•

When Harry walked in the first thing Louis noticed was how he eyed the broken glass door of orange juice on the floor. Louis could almost see the cogs in Harry’s brain working to figure things out. So he stopped him, 

“It just slipped out my hands, it was like a few minutes ago I would have cleaned it but you knocked at the door and I didn’t get time,” He lied easily. Technically the broken glass wasn’t what Harry thought so, the fib was harmless.

They settled down at the dining table with a cup of tea, when Harry finally said,

“Okay, Louis, I don’t really know you,” He leant forward in his seat and put his hands together, “But there is something I do know...”

Shit, “Okay.” Louis breathed. Here it comes.

Harry licked his lips, meeting Louis’ eyes, before continuing, “About 5 minutes after you left last night, I heard yelling. Quite a bit of yelling actually- it sounded a lot like you,”

Louis breathing hitched just a tad and he just smiled, shaking his head, trying his best to play it off. 

“Tyler was watching the footy, he was just excited yelling.”

“There wasn’t a game on last night.”

“He recorded the one from the other night.”

“What about the glass?”

Louis turned his body so he was able to see the smashed glass again, why didn’t Harry believe his story, he was a good liar. The only one who saw through him was Tyler. 

“I told you I broke it before you came” Louis lied again, nonchalantly.

“I heard that glass break over three hours ago. Before your boyfriend left.”

For fucks sake.

“No you didn’t,” Louis almost warned. Turning back to Harry, “You must be mistaken.”

“I really don’t think I am,” Harry replied, testing Louis’ patience. 

“That’s not my problem.”

Harry sighed, “Okay, I’m not meaning to pry Louis. I’m trying not to overstep but-“

“But you are.” Louis said plainly, hands shaking from his surge of confidence, “I think maybe you should go.”

Again, Harry sighed. He stood up from his seat and drummed his fingers on the table lightly, “Sorry again, Louis,” 

He walked towards the door.

“Harry, wait.”

Why was Louis talking? What on earth was he thinking?

“Whats up?” Harry said, scratching his head.

Louis hesitated. He did that a lot. 

“Do you know how to cook a steak?”

•~•

“Why do you have this shit, Louis?” Harry said, holding up a bottle of vegetable oil, “This is cancer in a bottle. I mean you can see it on a graph, level of consumption and cancer go up at the exact same rate, I’m telling you. Olive oil, and olive oil only.” 

Louis chuckled, bending down and wiping the spilt orange juice with some paper towels, “I don’t know, I just buy whatever the recipe says.”

“And they kill orangutan’s to get this shit.” Harry said, eyeing the bottle as if actually reading the small print that no one ever pays attention to. 

Louis just shook his head and laughed again while beginning to pick up the shards of glass scattered around on the floor. Harry’s eyes widened suddenly and he almost dropped the bottle before putting it down gently and running to Louis.

“Whoa, what are you thinking? Your going to cut yourself,” He spoke, his voice full of anxiety.

Louis raised his eyebrows, “I’ve got it, Harry, I’m not going to die.”

Harry smiled, but stayed kneeling by Louis, watching his every move, “Death by glass of orange juice.” He joked.

Louis smiled at Harry’s smile, and his shitty joke, “What a way to go.”

When they finally got around the making the steak, it went somewhat well. Harry guided Louis through the whole thing. Taught him about how to time it right, how hot the pan needs to be, how to tell if the steak is good quality or not. These few, apparently were. Thank god, considering these were the ones he would be cooking for Tyler tonight. 

Louis spent the whole day with Harry over, and he spent the whole day smiling. Laughing. It was...

Refreshing. He felt young, free. Youthful. Something more than just an 18 year old house wife. 

The air felt clearer, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Harry was fun, and he tried to be funny and it was so incredibly lame. 

Refreshing. It was so very refreshing. 

But refreshing was scary. Change was scary. And Louis knew that soon he would be craving Tyler and would feel like he just needs to feel that familiarity with the person he loves. 

So at about 3:30, he thanked Harry for his help, for the fun day, gave him a little, slightly awkward but also nice hug, and asked him to go. 

And he did so, without a single complaint.

Or dry, snarky comment. Louis asked him to leave, and he did so. And he remained just as lovely and bubbly and he was the whole day. 

•~•

Louis knew he had to call Liam. He couldn’t leave it forever. He had been thinking about it for a while. But he just never got around to it. Him and Liam were best friends. Ever since they were little. At first they had fights, and the teachers used to force them to play with the trucks together in order to get them to be friends. Louis hated it. Little did he know he would be thanking the teachers for finding him his best friend. Liam was the first person Louis told that he was gay. And in return, Liam came out to Louis as bisexual. It was one of the most amazing days. Sharing with each other something they had both been not only hiding but repressing, for so long. 

Fuck, he missed that man. 

So he picked up his phone, and typed in Liams number. He memorised it off by heart when he was about 15, when they first got phones. 

It rung once, and Louis was terrified. It rung a second time as Louis sat himself down on the couch. It rung a third time...and he answered.

“Lou?” 

“Liam?” 

“W-um,” Liam stuttered a bit, and Louis could just picture him, rubbing his eyebrow and opening and closing his mouth while trying to figure out what to say, “What’s up?”

“Nothin...” Louis mumbled, fumbling with the bottom of his t-shirt.

“Why did you call me?”

“I just- I haven’t really spoken to you in...” He took a breath, “...a while. So-“

“Are you okay?”

He still cared.

“I guess I missed you.”

“What have you been up to?”

“Just, living.”

“Oh yeah, sounds like fun.”

“Mmhmm.”

They both giggled, just like they used to.

“I quit my job.” Liam said, almost like he had never said it aloud, like it was a relief to speak the words. 

“Wow,” Liam had worked at his dads factory for like, forever. But Louis knew how much he hated it. He dreaded going there every day and he must have been so terrified to quit. His dad would have lost his shit, “What did your dad say?”

“Lost his shit.”

Called it.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Move.”

“To?”

“Well, I guess I don’t know,” Liam said, “You still in Parkwater?”

“Of course.”

“Tyler never was big on change, was he?” 

“It’s a nice neighbourhood, we got nice new neighbours, my age too.”

“And Tyler let them breathe in your presence?”

“Li.”

“Sorry.”

“I want to talk to you more.” Louis admitted.

“That’s fine by me, we can talk whenever you want,” Liam replied, “You can help me decide where to move.”

“I’m down.”

“I guess I missed you too, Lou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and leave kudos :) I’m really enjoying this story and it will get better and better. I’m open to input about the storyline and/or my writing skills or literally anything. 
> 
> Much love.   
> P.S. it’s true about the vegetable oil. I like orangutans - also surely I’m not the only one who cried over the clip of Louis with the chimpanzee.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler finds Harry at their house. Louis goes out with the boys. He starts to realise things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s violence in this chapter. If the non-con stuff and/or depression and/or violence, triggers you in any way, please just don’t read this story. I care more about your well-being then you reading this :)

For the next couple of weeks Louis had a daily routine that involved waking up, making breakfast, watching Tyler leave, inviting Harry over, calling Liam, making dinner, cleaning up, then either him and Tyler would watch a movie or fuck, then sleep. 

It was now a Friday morning and Louis had spoken to Liam a lot about him coming to visit. So, he finally built up the strength and confidence to ask Tyler about it. Liam was bisexual and Tyler didn’t like that. Louis always struggled to get it across to Tyler that he never wanted to go anywhere near Liams dick. He honestly shuddered at the thought. 

When him and Tyler were eating breakfast, he mentioned it, “Ty? Do you remember my friend Liam?”

Tyler took a mouthful of eggs before mumbling out, “Yeah, yeah. I remember him.”

“I uh, I’ve been thinking, maybe he could come stay here this weekend.”

Tyler looked up from his food and stopped chewing as Louis continued, “He just quit his job, actually, so he has loads of free time and...” He trailed off as Tyler glared at him. Shit, Louis didn’t want Tyler to get mad so early in the morning, he was tired. So very tired. 

“Never mind.” He muttered.

Tyler’s face softened a little and he exhaled sharply, “No, no I think it’s nice that you want to see him.”

Louis’ eyes lit up and he met Tyler’s gaze, “Really?”

“Yeah, but baby, he’s not staying in this house, okay?”

Louis heart saddened again, “Well where will he stay then?”

“I don’t know, babe, you can figure that out.”

How was Louis meant to do that? There was no nearby hotels and the whole point was that he and Liam wanted to be able to actually spend time together. Like they used to. If only Tyler knew how often him and Liam shared a bed and managed to not fuck each other. He was being a jealous bastard. 

•~•

“Wait so is Liam coming or not?” Harry said as they sat eating sandwiches for afternoon tea. Harry made them and they were better than anything Louis had ever managed to create in the kitchen. Harry was a natural at everything he did, Louis had to try so hard to even find the right ingredients. 

“No, I guess not.” Louis said, leaning his head in his hand, “I really wanted to see him.”

Louis knew Harry was looking at him, but refused to meet his eye. He had these gorgeous green eyes and every time Louis looked into them he got a little lost and confused. And most of the time he found it really hard to look away. 

“Lou...” Harry began. Louis’ heart jumped a little at the nickname, the only people who ever called him Lou were his mum and Liam. He liked the way it rolled from Harry’s tongue with ease, “He can stay with us.”

“What?” _What._

“He can stay with us. Me, Zayn and Niall. Cmon he’s our age, he seems really cool, the lads won’t mind.”

Louis just stammered and stuttered before finally being able to get words out, “Harry are you serious?”

Harry laughed and nodded, “Cmon, call him now and tell him to drive here.”

Louis looked at Harry fondly, “Are you sure?”

Harry leant forward, his face getting closer to Louis’ than it ever had before, and Louis’ heart sped up, “Positive.”

Louis tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, and he could have sworn Harry’s eyes flicked down to look there. 

Louis took out his phone and selected Liams contact. As the line was ringing Harry snatched the phone from Louis’ grip and put it onto speaker and in the centre of a table with a grin. 

After a few rings, Liam answered.

“Tommo! How are you, man?” 

Harry chuckled quietly at the nickname, Louis pretended not to see.

“I’m good, Li. Uh, I have a question for you?” 

“Ok, go for it.”

“Get your ass in your car and drive down here.” Harry said into the phone as he picked it up and turned it off speaker, placing it to his ear. Louis jumped and tried to take his phone back but Harry leapt from his seat, laughing as he spoke, “This is Harry Styles, I’m a friend of Louis’ and you will be staying in my house.”

Louis heard Liam talking on the other line but couldnt make out a word he was saying. Harry listened and threw in a few yeps to assure he was listening.

“We don’t actually have a spare room but Zayn can just sleep on the couch.”

Louis playfully slapped his arm and pointed at Harry to let him know that he would be the one sleeping on the couch. Harry just kept chatting with Liam, letting him know the address and other details while Louis’ stood there helplessly. How is it that Harry could speak to literally anyone with no awkwardness at all? _Maybe he just had more practice._

When him and Liam finally finished up, Harry hung up the phone and gave it back to Louis’. “He’ll be at mine at 6, I’ll send him over to see you then, sound good?” 

Louis’ just stood staring at Harry for a few seconds, before a smile crept up on his face, causing Harry to smile back. Harry then looked down at his feet shyly, rubbed the tip of his nose a little, and spoke softly to Louis,

“Louis, can I give you a hug?”

Louis almost laughed at now Harry felt the need to formally ask him for a hug, like he would be doing him some massive favour letting him touch Louis. But the more he thought about, the less easy it was to laugh at. With Tyler being overly protective and Louis being as closed off as possible, of course Harry felt the need to ask. He’s just a normal guy with a normal fear of rejection. 

Louis just nodded with a smile and Harry stepped forward. He gently wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, tucking his face into Louis’ neck sweetly. It was the cutest, most gentle hug Louis had ever experienced. He wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and squeezed a little, chuckling when Harry swayed them side to side, almost like dancing.

They stayed like that for a while five minutes.

“Alright lanky,” Louis joked, pulling away from Harry, “Get out of here, make sure the guys know about Liam and-“

He glanced at the clock,

“Shit!” He shouted. It was 5:40pm. How the fuck did it get that late? Where did all the fucking time go?! Fuck!

“Whats wrong?” Harry asked, clearly concerned.

“The time- shit, Harry you need to go.” Louis muttered, pretty much pushing Harry towards the door while keeping an eye out the window for Tyler’s car. 

“Lou. Louis!” Harry gripped Louis’ upper arms firmly and shook him a little, “Louis relax, relax.” 

He didn’t know what it was. Whether it was Harry’s hands on him, or his deep, soothing voice speaking to him. But it was strangely calming. 

A car pulled into the driveway.

“No no no no,” Louis muttered, backing away from Harry and thinking about any possible explanation for Harry being at their house. Harry seemed to notice the car and why Louis was so panicked. And he would soon realise why he needed to stay away.

“The fuck are you doing in my house?” Tyler’s voice boomed from outside the door. Harry spun around to face him, as Louis cowered into the kitchen and tried to control his breathing, 

“I was just leaving,” Harry said, his voice flat.

Not bubbly and happy like when he spoke to Louis. He pushed past Tyler grumpily and then stopped in his tracks and turned around, “I came over, Louis didn’t invite me here okay?” 

Tyler ignored him, and shut the door in his face. Then turned to Louis.

They were silent for a few seconds, as Tyler slowly walked towards Louis, taking a deep breath with each step, at least he was trying to remain calm. Right? 

Nope.

He punched Louis straight in the jaw. 

Louis fell to the ground with a yell. Tyler picked him up again, running his fingers over the already forming bruise, as Louis sobbed and sniffled and whimpered at the touch.

And Tyler hit him again. And Louis slid down the wall, gripping onto Tyler’s shirt for support as he slowly fell, tears falling from his eyes with every blink. He landed on his knees in front of his boyfriend and hugged Tyler’s legs squeezing tightly as if holding on for dear life. Tyler then ran his hands through Louis’ hair and tugged it roughly, forcing him to look up at him. 

“No one is going to love you like I do,” He spat. Louis nodded frantically. And Tyler bashed Louis’ head into the wall, and Louis screamed loudly and cried and cried. 

“I love you, I love you,” He muttered to Tyler, still hugging his knees, “Please, I’m sorry, I love you.”

Tyler smiled down at Louis, before picking him up and holding him bridal style in his arms, “You know I would never hurt you, right?” He spoke into Louis’ ear, who nodded and nodded and nodded and whispered apologies as Tyler brought him upstairs and laid him down the bed. 

As he allowed to Tyler to undress him, he felt faint. He knew his head was bashed hard and his jaw ached more than it ever had before. Not one part of him wanted sex. Every single cell in his body begged him to sleep, to close his eyes. 

_ Sleep, sleep, sleep.  _

And he did. 

And Tyler never stopped what he was doing.

•~•

When Louis woke up, it was the next morning. Tyler wasn’t there. But someone else was. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes and tried to ignore his burning headache, as he looked to see Liam sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“Morning,” Liam said, with his beautiful soft smile.

Louis completely forgot about his headache as he bolted upright and jumped into Liams arms. They hugged for a few seconds before Louis noticed his jaw and head pounding, and he pulled away, rubbing his temples.

“Did he do this to you-“

“It was an accident.”

“Don’t start off our time together on a lie.”

“If you don’t want me to lie then don’t ask me anything.”

They stared each other down, but Liams eyes soon softened and he smiled, “Let’s go downstairs.”

They went downstairs and Louis made them tea. He noticed it was 11:30am and was thankful that Tyler let him sleep in. He got apainkiller and they sat at the dining table.

“So, I met Harry.” Liam started, “He was the one that told me not to come over here because Tyler seemed mad when he left.”

Louis just sat in silence, waiting for Liam to give him a lecture, just like when he first moved away with Tyler. But Liam didn’t do that. Instead, he said,

“Harry said him and the boys are going to the pub for lunch and he asked if we want to join.” 

Louis had the chance to hang out with people his age, and with his best friend in the whole world for the first time in two years. He wasn’t gonna let this opportunity slip through his fingers.

“Let’s go then.”

They walked over to the boys house and they were all out the front getting ready to leave. 

Harry’s face lit up as he caught eyes with Louis, “Lou!” 

Liam gave a Louis a look after hearing the nickname, and Louis ignored it, facing towards Harry, “Hey!” He replied. 

Niall and Zayn greeted Louis kindly and he was happy to see them both again. He noticed Liam walked straight towards Zayn and started up a nice little conversation with him. That little fucker, Louis thought, I know what you’re doing you little shit. 

He had seen Liam flirt with multiple girls, and multiple guys. When with a girl, he would always lean up against something, a wall or a pole. And with a guy, he would put his head down when laughed and when he looked back up he’d have this stupid smoulder. 

So dumb.

“Ready to go, losers?” Niall said, coming up behind Harry and gripping his shoulders, “I’m fucking starving.”

•~•

When they arrived at the door of the pub, Zayn and Niall showed their IDs and they were all let in. As they walked in, Harry placed a hand on the small of Louis’ back, almost guiding him inside. It was busy, Louis hadn’t been in a crowd like this for a long time, he was quite overwhelmed if he was to be honest. But the feeling of Harry walking behind him made him feel reassured, almost safe. It was only when they sat down and Niall and Zayn started up a conversation with Liam, that Harry reached across the table to Louis, who flinched the tiniest bit, and Harry’s face went sad. 

“I was going to point at your bruise.” He said, showing a tiny smile that didn’t at all reach his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Louis said in response.

“Did he punch you?” Harry asked, plainly, no expression in his face. Liam, who was sitting next to Louis, seemed to hear that, and decided to come to Louis’ rescue and join the conversation.

_ Thank god.  _

“Don’t take it seriously Harry, I’ve been asking that question for two years and I haven’t got an answer either.” 

_ Oh, thanks Liam. _

“Li!” Louis exclaimed. Harry nodded at Liam, “Right.” Was all he said.

Luckily Niall broke the tension, deciding he needed food in the next ten minutes or he would die. Niall always broke the tension.

So the five of them spent the next three hours at the pub, drinking, eating, and more than anything, laughing. Louis couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. He spoke to Harry the most, and that man never failed to make him smile. He just made stupid jokes and did this stupid bark of a laugh and then immediately covered his mouth after. So, so, so fucking cute. And Zayn and Liam were getting on just fine, clearly Liam was a man with a plan, his flirting skills had always put Louis’ to shame. And Niall...well Niall was in love with food. 

Louis was in love...with Tyler. He was in love with Tyler, and Tyler was in love with him. He would get over this little Harry phase. 

_ Harry Tomlinson. _

_Oh my god,_ _stop_ , Louis thought to himself. 

Louis had never found out Harry’s surname. He suddenly had this overwhelming urge to know but, he couldn’t just ask him now in the middle of the pub. Hey Harry, what’s your last name? It was stupid how much he wanted to know, how much he wanted to understand about Harry. He was so confident, yet strangely closed off. He was easy to talk to, easy to get along with, kind, caring, outgoing. But hell, Louis didn’t even know his last name. 

Louis on the other hand, tried to be closed off. He didn’t want people to know anything about him, but he had massive purple bruises and he cried too often for people to not worry. He was useless and pathetic and he never wanted anyone to know that. But somehow he felt Harry knew more about him than he knew about himself. He was an open book that couldn’t read. 

And he loathed himself for it.

  
•~•

When he got home that afternoon, he sat on the couch. 

He felt violated. He felt as if everyone somehow knew everything and when he looked at his reflection in TV he saw the purple on his jaw and he cried because of it. 

He cried, and he cried more. He reached a hand up to feel the bump on the side of his head where Tyler had smashed him against the wall. 

And he just felt so sick.

The tears were hot as they ran down his face. He wondered how he looked last night when Tyler fucked him. Just this poor little kid, broken and bruised, and unconscious. Tyler knew he was doing the wrong thing. Louis knew that the man wasn’t stupid. 

Why did he let him do it? Well, he didn’t necessarily have a choice. He was passed out. He was literally unconscious, and Tyler fucked him anyway. He felt so so sick. 

He just felt dirty. He wanted to shower. But he didn’t want to stand. He wanted to go outside for some air, but he couldn’t breathe enough to be able to walk there. He wanted to drink water, but he didn’t think he’d be able to keep it down. 

He wanted Harry. 

But he wasn’t confident enough to go over there. To ask for help. So he didn’t do any of those things. He just curled up on the couch. Cried some more. And eventually fell asleep.

When he woke up at 5pm, he googled:

_ Do I have depression?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek. Hope you liked this chapter, I did.  
> It’s a bit sad I know but it will get better.  
> Comment improvements you wanna see :)   
> Much love.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets sad and is in pain. He had a few too many concussions and Harry is trying. Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly just confronting with Louis hurting a lot. But it’s also sweet because Harry is sweet.

Harry’s POV

I knew what Tyler was like. I had seen relationships like this before, hell, Zayn had a dicky boyfriend not long ago. Although, the second Zayn realised he was an ass, he ditched him. Louis refuses to even let _me_ believe that Tyler was a dickhead. He must be mentally unstable right? What causes someone to stay in that sort of relationship? Who the fuck hurt Louis? There was one person I was certain would know. 

Liam.

Liam had been fitting in quite well with the lads. He was getting along well with Zayn. Surprisingly well, actually. The two had created quite a bond over the 24 hours Liam had been with us. We spent the first night just getting to know him, we watched a few movies, talked about Louis. But nothing about Tyler. And I just had to know. 

So, on the Saturday night, after the pub, I found Liam sitting on the couch, his back leaning against the arm rest as he scrolled through something on his phone. I sat on the couch, facing him.

“Thanks for bringing Louis today.” I piped, genuinely thankful. I was glad I got to spend time with that gorgeous man.

Liam looked up from his phone for just a second and said, “Oh, no worries. I think he needed it to be honest.” He laughed, returning his gaze to his phone.

Thinking is an important thing to do before asking questions - especially personal ones and well...I really didn’t think at all, before blurting out, “How did he end up where he is?”

Liam suddenly switched off his phone with a huff and had a look on his face that screamed ‘I cant be fucked’. Like he had been asked this question before, or had this conversation a few too many times. He chucked his phone down and leant forward towards me, looking me dead in the eye.

“One minute he was free, the next minute he wasn’t. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why. It happened at a pub when he was 16, he left a few months later. I tried to stay in contact, I tried to help. Dont get me wrong, I love that man, but I gave up on asking questions a long time ago Harry. I suggest you do the same.” 

I froze up, I didn’t dare move under Liams gaze, not realising how incredibly intimidating he could be if he tried. Did I even dare say a word? I had to. In my brain, that was barely an explanation. Did Louis leave his family behind? Does he have family? Did he have more friends? Was he happier? Was he normal? Was he okay? 

“I- I’m sorry.” I stuttered, “I just...I like him.”

Liam scoffed, “Well you’re fucked, then.” He said, deadpan. When I looked down at his folded hands, Liams face softened as he regretted his harsh tone, realising it was a little too rough. My only crime was caring!

“Three questions.” Liam spoke, still eyeing me carefully. I raised an eyebrow in question, and Liam repeated, “Three questions. That’s all I’m gonna answer.” 

My heart jumped with something along the lines of excitement, but there was a shred of fear in there too. Fear of the answers. But I already knew the questions I wanted to ask.

“Does he have family?” 

“His mum, five sisters and a brother.” 

This shocked me. Louis really just up and fucking left, huh. That must have hurt. I wondered if it hurt Louis as much as it hurt his family. I could never just walk out on Gem and mum. 

“Does he really love Tyler?” Was my second question.

“I believe so. At least he thinks he does.”

Fuck. 

“Last question Harry,” Liam added, “Make it count.”

“Do you know how often Tyler hurts him? Why doesn’t he leave, I mean, does he even know he’s being abused?” I rambled, desperate for the answers. 

Liam tilted his head, “That was sort of three questions in itself.”

“Liam, please!” I almost yelled. I needed these answers. Needed them.

“Whenever Lou does something Tyler doesn’t like, he either hits him or fucks him.”

My heart hurt at the thought of Louis being brutally fucked by an awful piece of shit like Tyler. I pushed the thought violently from Bm head. I couldn’t believe I had stood in the same room as someone who had hurt that gorgeously beautiful young man. Innocent, sweet, funny, stunning man.

“I don’t think he labels it as abuse, I think Tyler finds excuses and makes it seem like one big accident,” And Liam continued, before heaving a big sigh and adding, “And I don’t know why he won’t leave.”

I looked into Liams eyes, hoping for more of an answer than that, but Liams just narrowed them and he put his hand on my shoulder, “I’m sorry...I just don’t.”

I nodded quickly, rubbing the bridge of my nose. Shit. 

Liam stood up and began to walk off, just as he turned to leave the living room, Zayn entered, and the two boys almost ran into each other. Zayn grabbed Liams shoulders to steady him and they both muttered shy ‘sorrys’ to each other before blushing and continuing their walk. 

Zayn sat down in Liams previous seat, looking at me with a concerned face.

“Whats up, buttercup?” He smiled. And a little grin crept its way onto my face, despite my down mood. Zayn always managed to make me smile, even at the worst of times. 

“I don’t know,” I almost whispered. Why was this affecting me so much? Was I overly sensitive? Surely not. I couldn’t understand why everyone around me seemed so calm! 

“It’s about Louis isnt it?” Zayn said, reading my mind. I just nodded, my head felt heavy as I moved it and I let it fall into my hands. 

“Harry, it’s 5,” Zayn said. 

“No shit, really?” I replied, sarcastically.

“Doesn’t Tyler work late on Saturday’s?”

Louis’ POV

About five minutes after I woke up, I heard a knock at the door. I didn’t intend to answer it. In fact, I pretended I didn’t even hear it. I just stayed in my curled up ball on the couch. That was until I heard a second knock, and a low, soothing voice that I recognised as Harry’s,

“Louis? C’mon open up.” 

I didn’t want to see anyone. I was tired, I felt sick, like I was coming down with something. My head hurt and my bruises were burning. I stayed quiet, and ignored Harry.

“Louis...” Harry’s voice became even softer, and he almost whispered, but it was loud enough for me to hear, “I know he hurt you last night, Lou.”

I closed my eyes, letting a single tear fall down my cheek as I sniffled quietly, “G-go away!” I almost begged. I needed Harry to leave me alone. I didn’t want to get him in trouble. I was trouble. My relationship was trouble. Not a lot of people understood it but I did. Harry didn’t. And I needed him to go away. 

“I’m not-“ I heard him sigh, “I’m not going anywhere.”

I don’t think I’m ever going to be sure why, but I just knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Harry wasn’t the type of person to lie, under any circumstance. For someone as young as 17, his eyes seemed to have so much wisdom behind them, it was like he knew so much more than me, even when it comes to things _about_ me. I so badly wanted to look into those green gems that were Harry’s eyes. They were glowy, bright, and soft and meaningful. 

I wanted to see them. 

I opened the door. 

He smiled at me. It was like a real, genuine grin. Despite the fact that he was looking at me, with my red, swollen eyes and fat, ugly bruises. He honestly smiled. It looked like he was so happy that I had opened the door. I couldn’t believe someone was so happy to see me that it made a beautiful smile like that appear. 

We didn’t speak at first. He just opened his arms cautiously, and I fell into them. He rested his chin on the top of my head as I buried my face into his chest. I didn’t even realise I was crying again until Harry hushed me and rubbed up and down my spine. I reluctantly tore myself from his arms and wiped my eyes,

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, between little sobs. I almost choked from forcing the crying away. Harry raised a hand, so slowly, like he knew I would flinch if he was too quick. I didn’t flinch, I just allowed him to bring his hand carefully to my cheek. He rubbed his thumb gently over my cheekbone and I leant into the touch slightly, but soon his forefinger brushed against one of my bruises and I backed away with a little whimper. 

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry, shh,” Harry muttered, closing the space between us a little more, “Hey, I’m sorry, your okay.” 

Something about the way he spoke to me, the way he reassured me that I was okay, it made me believe him. I must have looked rough, or been making some sort of strained noise, because Harry asked me where it hurt.

I didn’t even reply with words, I just sobbed and whimpered, showing him that I was hurting, hurting everywhere. He ran his fingers up my wrist and forearm so softly I wanted to cry even more. So I did. And Harry just wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me gently off the ground, kicking the door shut carefully and taking me over to the couch. He laid me down in the most caring and beautiful way, like he really was trying his hardest not to hurt me, and to make sure I was comfortable. 

When he began to let me go I groaned at the loss, and at the overwhelming pounding in my head, and at the non stop feeling like I was gonna black out any minute. And the feeling of being violated...it was too much. 

“Harry, I’m in pain.” I choked out between tears, my words became slurred and I could have sworn I was drooling. It was probably a disgusting sight for Harry. But he just leant down next to me so his face was inches from mine, and brushed a loose hair from my sweaty forehead.

“Lou...” His voice rung in my ears, and faded in and out, “I’m going to get you some water, and then I’m going to take you...”

My eyes started to flutter closed and I saw spots for a few seconds before I felt a soft, cold hand on my cheek. When I snapped my eyes open Harry was holding a glass of water in front of me. 

“Louis, I need you to drink this okay,” He spoke, his voice soft and soothing. I didn’t move, I couldn’t move. Until Harry spoke again, “Louis!” This time his voice was harsher, louder, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, so I need you to stay awake, and drink water.” 

I sobbed, but forced myself up on to my elbows, and I’m fairly certain I was saying Harry’s name, because I could hear him muttering, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”

I drank about two sips of water before retching a little. Dry reaching was the worst thing. 

The phone began to ring.

Shit.

I started to panic, and Harry must have noticed because he ran to the phone and brought it back to me.

“Hey relax, I’m holding it, can you speak?”

I nodded slowly, my lips felt chapped and sore. How did I get so unwell so fast?

“Hello?” I said into the phone when Harry clicked to answer it.

“Hey baby! You okay?” Tyler’s voice boomed and made my head pound violently.

“Y-yeah,” Was all I could manage to say. I blinked violently to make sure my eyes stayed open, because Harry told me to stay awake.

“Look, there was an emergency, one of my clients they-“ He huffed out a pathetic laugh, “They fucked our case so bad.”

“Oh no...” I slurred out, I was probably dying, “What did they do?”

“They uh, they just said some stuff the press didn’t like. I need to win this case babe, it’s huge.”

“I know.” I didn’t give a shit about whatever he was saying. I just wanted to hang up. Be with Harry for a bit.

“I just. I need to go visit them. They live a few hours away.”

_Oh._

“Okay.” 

Tyler had taken many trips away before. But never after a fight. After a fight it was always cuddles and love and dates. Plus I was sick. I was sick and tired and injured and I needed him here and he hurt me and then he left. 

“I’ll only be five days okay? Four nights.”

_Fuck off._

“Four nights, five days.” 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I saw spots again. They didn’t go away. They just fuzzed over my vision until I could no longer see Harry’s beautiful eyes...

•~•

Harry’s POV 

I ended up taking Lou to the hospital. 

I sat in a dull, grey, hospital room, for 16 hours, without sleeping- hell, without blinking! I just stared at him. He had this life about him, even unconscious, I knew he was fun, deep down. He definitely liked a bit of mischief and rebellion. I could just imagine him and Liam when they were kids, pulling pranks on their parents and friends. And everyone would roll their eyes and mumble, “It’s just Louis and Liam at it again.”

Five sisters and a brother. _Five sisters and a brother._

This kid left behind six siblings and his mother, for a man who beat him every time he breathed the same air as anyone who was remotely close to his age. And now, here he was, lying broken in front of me. And who was sitting with him? _Me._ Not _him._

The nurse told me he ended up like this because he was emotionally and physically drained, plus a few two many concussions and it drove him over the edge.

He was still pale, and I couldn’t wait for the colour to return to his gorgeous cheekbones, and I couldn’t wait to see his blue eyes. I’m telling you - there were oceans behind those eyes. I could see the waves crashing on the beach and the sun reflecting off of the crystal clear blue water. I swear, I could see it.

Well, I couldn’t while he was unconscious.

I was really forcing my eyes open at this point, my eyelids burned and drooped every time I breathed out. Until through my blurry vision, I saw a hint of blue, a little glimpse of the beach. 

He was awake. And mumbling something. Or groaning. I was honestly too tired to tell. I was falling asleep until I felt a light tap on my leg, and I opened my eyes groggily to see Louis, awake, holding his arm out to me. I snapped out of my sleepy state and stumbled forward onto my knees next to Louis’ bed.

“Hi,” I whispered, softly.

“Tyler?” Was what Louis muttered in response. My heart fell. He expected Tyler to be here, he was in hospital after all. But I hadn’t even called Tyler. To be honest I thought it would make the situation even worse, he would probably march straight into the hospital and rip off both of my arms. God knows what he would do to Louis. 

“N-no,” I stuttered, looking down at the floor, feeling something ache in my chest. It was probably my heart. I then felt Louis’ hand, so softly, under my chin, as if he didn’t have the strength to move his hand at all, and I brought my head up to look at him.

“I’m glad your here,” He whispered, “Did I pass out?”

“One too many concussions, the nurse said,” I spoke with conviction, making sure Louis knew that by saying that I actually meant, ‘ _yeah I know exactly how much of a piece of shit your boyfriend is’._

“Oh,” Louis dropped his hand from my face as well as his gaze. He didn’t say anything else, so I said,

“So how did you get the other concussions-“ I began, but Louis cut me off with a sudden, desperate response,

“Harry, I really am glad you’re here. Please don’t make me change my mind about that”. 

That hurt. The fact that he would kick me out of the room, he would make me leave, and I would if he asked me. So I didn’t push it, instead I decided to sing. I’m not exactly sure why I started, or why I chose the song that I did. It just, spoke to me. I felt Louis in song and I always loved the song. I wanted to share it with him. Show him that I saw him in it...

_ “You look so wonderful in your dress, _

_ I love your hair like that. _

_ The way it falls on the side of your neck, _

_ Down your shoulders and back.” _

I paused, leaning my head on the back of my hand, debating on whether to carry on. The corners of Louis’ mouth curved upwards, and I took it as a cue to continue. 

_ “We are surrounded by all of these lies, _

_ And people who talk too much. _

_ You’ve got that kind of look in your eyes, _

_ As if no one knows anything but us.” _

When I stopped, Louis opened his eyes that had gradually fallen shut and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why’d you stop?” 

I shook my head, “I don’t know,”

“Can you keep going?”

I did.

_ “Should this be the last thing I see? _

_ I want you to know it’s enough for me. _

_ Cause’ all that you are is all that I’ll ever need” _

I smiled. He was so peaceful. My own sleep deserted me and left me alone but I didn’t feel alone. For the first time in maybe four years, I felt like there was someone else. Someone that wasn’t my sister or my mum. Someone that wasn’t 20 years old and treating me like a child. Someone that happened to have oceans behind their eyes. Thrashing waves, swimming seas, rolling rivers. 

And I didn’t dare deprive ocean eyes of something he asked for.

So I did not stop singing, until I heard his heavy breathing and his eyes were fluttering as though he was dreaming.

I hoped he dreamed of me.

_ So in love. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran.  
> Comment if you enjoyed.  
> Much love xx


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis come home from the hospital and it’s nice. They make nicknames and Louis likes it when Harry sings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing smutty or confronting in this chapter :) just sorta fluffy and calm...  
> Calm before the storm one might say :•

Harry and Louis were both woken up by a nurse that came in to check up on Louis. She shook Harry’s shoulder gently, and he cracked his eyes open to see Louis slowly waking himself up as well. He wondered how long they had been asleep and the nurse said it was 6am. 

_I’m awake at 6am on a Sunday morning_ , was what Harry thought. 

When both boys had woken themselves up enough to be able to have a decent conversation, the nurse asked,

“Feeling any better this morning, Louis?” 

“Yeah, loads,” Louis replied, with an adorable little smile.

“I think you’re all set to go home, when you’re ready of course!” The nurse added, putting a hand on Louis’ shoulder. Then she turned to Harry, “He’s going to need someone to be around him 24/7 for at least two days, just incase something was to happen.”

“That’s fine I’ll be there, don’t worry,” Harry spoke, quickly, to make sure Louis understood that he had no issue looking after him while Tyler was still away. 

“Good to hear,” The nurse replied, “Just make sure to get plenty of rest, you will be quite tired, drink lots of water, try to eat healthy, your body will slowly regenerate itself.”

Louis nodded and thanked the nurse.

Harry cutely adjusted the pillows while Louis was leaning forward slightly and it made Louis’ heart melt. Harry was putting in effort literally just to make sure Louis was somewhat comfortable even though they were leaving sooner than later. 

Tyler would come home in a few days to take care of Louis though. He would come and grab Louis and would take him to bed and fuck him senseless in the best way possible. It would be spectacular and Harry would be across the street hanging out with his youthful, fun friends who are all lovely and kind and easy going. 

•~•

When they arrived back at Louis’ and Tyler’s place, Liam, Niall and Zayn all ran across the street before they could even reach the door. It was as if they had been waiting and watching out the window for them to come home. Louis knew Liam was meant to be going home today,and it sucked that he ruined their time together by going and getting himself hurt. 

“Louis!” He heard Liam call out. The footsteps came closer and closer until warm, strong arms wrapped tightly around Louis’ body. Louis weakly lifted his arms to embrace his friend before wincing slightly under the pressure of the hug. Liam pulled away with a concerned face.

“Sorry, fuck, what hap-“

“Don’t worry, apparently I was worn out and overwhelmed,” Louis said, attempting to play it cool and act as though he wasn’t trembling with pain, “Story of my life, no?” He added, adding some humour to lighten the situation.

“You seemed fine when we went out, what happened?” Niall asked, and Louis found it interesting and nice that these people had known him barely a week and they were still so concerned. 

“I think it all just hit me at once-“

“Hit you?” Liam piped, almost as if he had misheard Louis, he looked up in shock. Louis frowned and quickly corrected any misunderstanding.

“N-no, the overwhelming thing. It h- it just came like a tidal wave.”

Harry’s hand rested lightly on my upper arm, “I think you should rest, Lou.”

Zayn stepped forward and leant into Harry, saying something briefly, and Louis didn’t quite catch it, which bothered him slightly but he brushed it off. He was probably saying something private about himself, or Harry. It probably had nothing to do with Louis. 

Harry nodded knowingly and Zayn raised his eyebrows, causing Harry to shake his head with furrowed eyebrows. 

“I don’t know what’s going on but I’m gonna leave...” Niall spoke up, making everyone laugh and breaking the weird tension between Harry and Zayn. 

“Harry you can go home if you like,” Liam said, “I can stay here with Lou, you’re probably tired.”

_ That _ _fucker._

“No!” Harry almost yelled. It seemed to shock him just as much as it shocked the rest of the lads. Harry cleared his throat and Louis could have sworn he saw Zayn holding back a laugh, “No,” Harry spoke, more calmly this time, “I’m not tired, I’ll stay.”

Liam seemed hesitant at first. Partially because he wanted to look after Louis, being worried about his friend, and partially because Harry looked...

Tired.

His eyes had bags and were bloodshot. His hair was rugged and messy and knotted. He looked as if he had been sitting on the floor with his head uncomfortably resting on a bed for 10 hours. Which he had. And he barely slept. Eyes wide open to make sure Louis was okay, occasionally fluttering closed as he dozed in and out of sleep. 

He was tired.

“Okay,” Liam gave in, before turning to Louis, “You’ll be alright?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Louis said reassuringly, “Just mad I didn’t get to spend more time with you, Lima!”

Liam pointed a finger at Louis, “Don’t bring that name back, and lucky for you, I’m staying here for a little...” 

Louis noticed an exchange of eye contact between Liam and Zayn and Zayn smiled and nodded. Niall rolled his eyes, “Its early, let’s go before I die from all the 5th wheeling.”

Louis pretended he didn’t hear that.

He did though.

•~•

No matter what he did, Louis couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position to lie in. He was lying on the couch watching Grease for the millionth time, while drinking his Yorkshire tea and eating sticks of cucumber that Harry had cut up for him. Harry was now in the kitchen putting away the last of the dishes when he noticed Louis and wriggling uncomfortably.

“You alright over there, squirmy?” Harry chuckled, making his way over to the couch, tapping Louis’ ankles and gesturing for him to make room.

“Just cant get comfy,” Louis replied, as Harry sat down. After a few more moments, Louis heard Harry mutter something shyly and under his breath. 

“What’s that, mumbles?” Louis grinned, laughing a little at Harry’s sudden shyness.

“Come lie here,” Harry said a little louder, not much louder, but a little. When Louis raised an eyebrow at Harry, his awkwardness faded away and he laughed and joked, “I won’t pounce on you I swear, I’m trying to make sure your comfortable...squirmy.” He added the nickname on the end and it made Louis’ insides turn a little knowing that Harry wasn’t the only one that noticed that they had both ironically slipped nicknames for each other intotheir previous sentences. 

Louis shuffled around in order to lie comfortably with his head in Harry’s lap. He could sense Harry’s hands near him, like he was questioning touching Louis. And Louis wasn’t sure why, they were only friends. Him and Liam would do things like this all the time-

“Do you mind if I touch your hair?” Harry asked, so softly and nervously that Louis almost didn’t hear it. 

_That’s why Harry was hesitant? He wanted to make sure I was ok with him...touching me?_

That was foreign to Louis. 

“Do whatever you want, mumbles.” Louis smirked as he said those words, knowing all too well how sensual they could sound... _did_ sound. 

He felt guilty for being this way with Harry, seeing as they both knew Louis was taken and happy and fine. But it was nice to feel something so...new 

_ Refreshing. _

Harry’s hand soon found Louis’ hair and he slowly ran his fingers through it. He looped his fingers around little tuffs of hair and rubbed his head softly. After a few minutes, Louis was basically falling asleep, and when Harry gave Louis’ hair the lightest, most gentle little tug, a little tiny moan escaped Louis’ lips softly. And Louis didn’t see, but a smile formed on Harry’s lips, because his ears had just been blessed with the most angelic and beautiful sound. 

And he wanted to run with it. 

Run straight across the street with Louis under his arm. Away from everything in this house including Tyler, and the bad energy. He wanted Louis to be safe and sound in his bed where he could just sleep with no fear of being abused or hurt. 

He could sleep and dream of Harry as Harry did of Louis each night. Louis smiled and jumped and danced in Harry’s dreams every night.

It was spectacular.

•~•

When Louis’ eyes opened, it was because of a soft tracing that Harry’s hand was doing on his spine. The TV was off, as were the lights. And...the sun?

“What time is it?” Louis groggily whispered, rubbing his eyes.

“7pm,” Harry said, sounding almost worried, “We need to get your sleep schedule normal.” 

Louis at up slowly, Harry’s hand brushing down his arm as he did. 

“Why am I so tired?” 

“You just need sleep, lots of it.”

“I just slept for like 12 hours!”

“Are you still tired?”

Louis sighed, “Come with me.”

Louis led Harry up the stairs to his and Tyler’s room. And when they arrived he climbed sleepily into his bed, curling up under the warm covers and closing his eyes again. When he didn’t feel Harry next to him he opened his eyes again to see Harry still standing by the door, nervously waiting for further instructions.

“Get in, mumbles,” Louis...well, mumbled.

“A-are you sure?”

“Harry were just friends, me and Liam used to do this all the time.”

Harry nodded and chuckled awkwardly as though shaking stupid thoughts out of his head, before climbing into bed beside Louis. Something about seeing Harry in the spot where Tyler lays felt wrong. He didn’t want to view Harry in the same way he viewed Tyler.

“That’s where Tyler sleeps.”

Harry looked at Louis and whispered, “I can go-“

“I don’t want you to go...”

“What do you want?”

“We can both sleep on my side of the bed.”

Harry bit his lip, before pressing his body up to Louis’, making sure both their bodies took up only the space of Louis’ side of the bed. Neither of them touched, noticed or looked at Tyler’s side of the bed. Instead, they laid, pressed up against each other, Louis lying on his back, inbetween Harry’s legs, with his head leaning back into Harry’s chest. Harry’s arms wrapped around his waist, running his fingers lightly over Louis’ stomach. It was one of his favourite things about Louis’ body. 

He hummed the same tune that had been stuck in his head ever since he met Louis. He had never been able to come up with any words, until this moment. With his arms holding the most beautiful man, with the most beautiful tummy, and the most loving heart. It was summer, and he wanted to spend it with Louis. Going to the beach, eating fruit, like when he was little with Gemma and their mum would give them a quarter of a watermelon each and they would eat it after swimming. 

He sung the words in his head while he hummed aloud. 

“Sing,” Louis spoke, as he dozed into sleep. If singing helped him to sleep, then singing is what Harry would do. Forever and ever he would sing for Louis. 

“Strawberries, 

On a summer evening.

Baby, your the end of June. 

I want your belly,

And that summer feeling.

Getting washed away in you...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed xx  
> Comment and leave kudos it honestly makes my week.   
> Always open for a chat if any wants :)   
> The song is Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles but if you don’t know that then why are you reading this...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry overhears some things he shouldn’t. It sparks and argument and a bit of sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one xx

HARRYS POV

“Let’s go to the beach.” I said, as I watched Louis whisk the eggs. He was a train wreck in the kitchen so I was attempting to teach him what I knew. I quickly adjusted Louis’ wrist motions, before adding, “We can bring the lads with us, Liam and Zayn would probably love it, and Niall will build sandcastles.”

Louis laughed, and it was music to my ears, I could listen to it all day every day, “I haven’t been to the beach in...”

I was weirdly nervous to hear him finish his sentence. How long had Tyler been stopping him from having fun? 

“Pff, maybe 10 months?” 

“We live like five minutes from the beach! How could you not go?” I asked, already knowing why. But I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted him to understand that Tyler was the reason he hadn’t been living for the past two years. 

“I don’t know,” He giggled. That _fucking_ giggle. 

“Well then let’s go!” I actually sort of yelled. Louis jumped a little and then shook his head at me, but still with a smile. 

“Fuck- fine,” He said. And I cheered and ran around like an idiot because I knew it would make him laugh, and it did. 

We ate breakfast together it was...oddly domestic. Like we just sat opposite each other, and smiled and talked and it was really fun. I just enjoyed spending time with him and being around him. I wondered if Tyler enjoyed being around Louis. I wondered if he was just using Louis for sex and cleaning, or if he actually did like Louis, but he was just fucked in the head. Well, he’s fucked in the head either way. 

“Do you and Tyler eat breakfast together?” I asked him, as casually as possible.

Louis made a face, but didn’t look up from his eggs, “Sometimes.”

“How come sometimes you don’t?” 

“I don’t know, sometimes he lets me sleep in.”

“And leaves a mess like the other day?”

“I broke that glass-“

“Louis, please!” I sort of yelled. And I instantly regretted it. Louis looked up from his eggs with a look on his face that I recognised as fear. 

“Please don’t yell...” His voice was barely a whisper and I almost cried right there at the breakfast table. I stood up out of my seat and quickly walked over to Louis, kneeling down in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” I took both his hands in mine, and rubbed my thumbs along his skin. Louis kept his gaze at our hands and half smiled. 

“Lou,” I said in a singing voice, which made Louis’ smile become a little more genuine. He blushed and giggled again. 

“Hi...” He breathed, chewing the inside off his mouth. I just smiled at him and brushed some hair off his forehead. He placed both off his hands on my biceps and gently squeezed. So gently I almost didn’t feel it. 

The phone rang. Louis jumped so hard he almost fell off the chair before getting up and pretty much running to the phone. I found it crazy how easy it was for him to go running to Tyler. No one else rang this house. 

“Baby?” Louis said into the phone, his voice hopeful.

I couldn’t hear the speaking on the other end but I knew it was Tyler. Like I said, no one else rang this house. 

“Ty-Tyler you’re never going to believe what happened to me!” He sounded so desperate to tell Tyler how the past few days had panned out. It’s like he wanted Tyler to worry about him, which was fair enough. I, on the other hand, was more worried about what would happen if Louis mentioned my name.

“So basically I-“ He fell silent, his smile fading, “No I get it,” He sadly laughed, “It’s fine, you’re busy- no really it’s- it’s okay.”

Wow. Tyler called him, and the second Louis starts to talk about himself he decides it’s time to go. 

“Well, thanks for calling. I know. Yeah, I know. Of course. No, no ones been here, I’m just here by myself. I get lonely when you do this-“

I heard Tyler’s voice raise on the other line.

“O-okay. Yep...”

Tyler said something else. And Louis looked over at where I was still kneeling. 

“N-not right now, Ty,” He sounded so uncomfortable, so embarassed or something? 

I gave him a questioning look and he waved me off and turned to run up the stairs. He thought he was alone when he reached his and Tyler’s room but I followed him to the base of the stairs and strained my ears in an attempt to listen. Petty, I know, but technically I was told not the leave Louis alone. 

That was when I heard it. And forever after the moment I did, I wished and wished and wished that I didn’t. 

But I heard him say, “Yes, Daddy. I’m sorry, please forgive me, Daddy.” 

I felt a pit in my stomach. Louis was saying it all wrong. It was horrible it was painful. He didn’t want to say it. I could tell. Tyler wanted it. This was the first time I saw Louis for what he truly was...a child who never got the chance to grow up. 

“He hasn’t been here,” Louis spoke softly, “No, I promise he hasn’t...I won’t let him anywhere near me...I don’t love him, I love you...y- I know how you feel about him...he- he’s not going to touch me!” 

Jesus. He’s really accusing _me_ of that! 

“I’m yours...I’m yours, Daddy. You take good care of me...I’ll never let him. I promise...yes...okay...I’ll talk to you on Wednesday. I love you...bye.”

I’m telling you I’ve never run so fast in my life. I bolted back to the dining table and sat down in my seat just as Louis came to the bottom of the stairs.

“What did the devil want?” I asked sarcastically. 

Louis chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Just to talk to me.”

“Yeah and to not let you talk to him,” I ‘joked’, “Are you ever going to tell him that he put you in the hospital?”

“He did no such thing!” Louis cried, “He’s super busy, Harry, he doesn’t have time for-“

“For you?”

The look Louis gave me was enough to shut me the hell up. For someone so delicate and beautiful, he’s strangely intimidating. 

I think I finally made him snap.

“Look, Harry. If you want to spend time with me so badly, you need to learn how to do it without picking at every single part of my life, okay?”

I just stood there like a child being told off by their parent, arms crossed, head down, scuffing my foot on the floor, while he continued,

“I cant be around you if your going to be like that. I know I must be fucked up. Believe me, I’ve heard it all before. Liams told me this before. I’m fucked up, I never listen, I’m letting myself be used and abused because I’m too scared to face reality. What mum used to tell me was pretty rich too. I’m ruining the family, giving up on them. Losing everything I worked so hard for. Letting go of my future. Tyler has always been my future. Lottie used to say she didn’t even feel like she knew me anymore. The twins used to cry when Tyler’s name was mentioned- Harry. Trust me. I’ve heard. It all. Before.” 

“Lottie?” Is all I said.

“I’m not fucked up, Harry.”

“Never said you were,”

“You did...” 

“I heard what you called him.”

Louis eye-line only faltered for a split second, and he showed no emotion. 

“I don’t know what your talking about.”

“Daddy?” I spat, “Do you even like calling him that?”

“Everyone has something in a relationship that they have to put up with thats how relationships work. Compromise.”

“Jesus, Lou...”

“Fucking hell, Harry I cant win with you!”

“Are you going to tell him your were in the hospital?”

“Y-yes!”

“Are you going to tell him I was here?”

“Harry...”

“Are you?!” 

“No!” 

We both just stood there. Staring at each other. I didn’t blame him for not wanting to tell Tyler about me being here. If anything, I’d rather Tyler not know. Because if he did know, he’d probably tear Louis to shreds. But the point is, if Louis can admit it to Tyler, then he can admit it to himself. And from there, I’d be able to get him out of this house, and somewhere safe. Away from Tyler.

But before I could get the chance to say anything else, or even think anything else. Louis broke down. The tears plummeted down to the tiled floor and he hid his beautiful face in his hands. I straight away stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t speak, and neither did he. We just hugged. Hugged and hugged and hugged while Louis cried and cried and cried. 

“I want you to stay here forever,” He whispered so softly into my chest. I wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so close to me. 

“I cant. Not with him around.”

I’d never, ever, felt this strongly about someone in my life. Louis had become all I thought about for the past 10 days. He had quickly become one of the most important people to me. How did that- how did that even happen? 

Louis pulled away from the hug, and wiped away the last of the tears, before flashing a sad little smile and saying, 

“Let’s go to the beach.”

  
  


\- Just a quick note. If anyone likes to draw, or sketch, I’d love someone to make visuals for my story. I’m writing another Larry fanfic right now but I’ll release that later. If anyone is interested that would be great. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.  
> Just to let everyone know - the reason the boys are being this way is because they are both sort of aware that there’s feelings between them, but there’s so much in the way. Louis does love Tyler unfortunately and he’s not going to just let that go, he gave up everything to be with Tyler.  
> Harry is afraid he’s going to get Louis into more trouble if he forces him out of this relationship and he’s trying to move with caution as he knows Louis is sensitive.  
> And with the ‘daddy’ thing. Tyler is trying to get Louis to use it in a more domestic and casual way, instead of just in the bedroom. It’s making Louis extremely uncomfortable but obviously he’s afraid to argue against it.  
> Louis confides in Harry and feels safe with him, but he’s never known anything outside of what he has with Tyler so he’s struggling to understand why Harry cares so much and why he’s treating Louis this way.  
> Things will progress sooner than you think.  
> And Tyler will come home sooner than you think.  
> Eek.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry have their beach trip.   
> Tyler comes home.   
> Showdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⛔️IMPORTANT WARNING⛔️  
> I need you all to know that this chapter has very graphic depictions of rape and violence. This involves non-consensual sex and abuse in a relationship. It also includes some nasty language and rough situations. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please either skip this chapter, or read with caution. I will explain the basic gist of the chapter in the end of chapter notes for anyone who doesn’t want to read the nasties :) Thanks for reading

Louis POV

I kicked my shoes off next to where we had all placed our bags and towels, and so did Harry. Zayn tackled Niall to the ground as they headed towards the water and Liam laughed at them before following at a safe distance. But before he could get too far, I ran to catch up with him. 

“Li!” I called out, catching his attention as he turned to face me.

“What’s up?” He said, looking a little concerned.

“Nothing I just-“ I gathered myself, and thought about what I wanted to talk about, compared to where we were standing at that time, and thought against it. So I said, “Whats going on with you and Zayn?”

Liams face visibly relaxed and he chuckled, cheeks flushing red, “I don’t know...” He could barely contain the smile, “He’s great, Lou. Like really. Every time we hang out he just- he listens to me, he pays attention to me. I think- I think he likes me.”

I just smiled and put my hand on Liams shoulder, “I think he’s great. And I think you should go for it.”

Liam pondered over my sentence for a few seconds before I added, “So have you fucked?” 

The two of us giggled in a very ‘high school clique’ way. It was at this point that I realised how much I missed this. The giggling and the over sharing about our relationships and sexual lives. It all felt so natural. And it made me feel more like an 18 year old. Rather than a 28 year old. Liam had only managed to tell me about the time him and Zayn first kissed before Zayn himself was calling Liams name. 

After Liam ran off I made my way back to Harry, who was still at the towels, on his phone, clearly trying to look as though he was doing something while waiting for me. I internally laughed and jogged over to him. 

“Alright, Mumbles,” I said, “Show me how to be at the beach.”

Harry barely reacted to my presence, he just dropped his phone onto the towel, slight smirk on his face, before looking at me and saying, “Do you trust me?” 

“Yes.” I meant it. 

Harry took his shirt off. I didn’t. But what I _did_ do was take the time to notice and admire his body. _Fuck_. Two seconds later, Harry ran towards me, which at first, I did jump a little. But in those few seconds I remembered what I had said to him - I trust him. So I let his strong arms sweep me off my feet as he lugged me over his shoulder. I yelped and squealed as Harry ran, still holding me, straight into the freezing cold water. I barely had time to register how cold the water actually was before I was completely dunked under, Harry’s arms not letting go of me for a second. 

When we both came back up, coughing and spluttering and wiping our eyes, we locked eyes and burst out laughing. We must have laughed for a few minutes before finally being able to calm down, and the entire time, his arms never left my body. And it wasn’t in the way that made me feel violated, or like he was fishing for something more. It was like...like he was scared of losing me. Losing me to the ocean. 

Making sure I wasn’t taken out to sea. 

“Ok, you got me,” I laughed, breaking the silence.

Harry laughed, pulling a little piece of seaweed off my shoulder, “I’m a beach expert, Squirmy. The quicker you get in, the better.” But I noticed he was still shivering slightly. I took this as an opportunity to touch him so I brought my hands up towards his shoulders-

_ No! Louis, no!  _

_ I don’t need this, and I don’t feel the need to touch him. He’s fine, he’ll warm up.  _

I return my arms to the water and shake off the feeling. If Tyler knew what was going through my head, he’d kill me. Literally. He would fuck me and it would kill me. I still remember the first time he did it. 

** 2 years earlier. **

Louis was sitting in Tyler’s room, his house luckily wasn’t too far from his boyfriends so he had been able to stay there a lot. Liam was starting to have an attitude about it but Louis figured he’d forget about that for a bit and just enjoy his time with Tyler. Who, speak of the devil, was making his way down the hall way, as he had told Louis to wait in the bedroom for him. They had been fucking for a week straight and Louis was pretty sore and tired, but it was so worth it to be that close with Tyler. 

But when the older man walked into the room, his face didn’t look happy...or excited. He looked angry. He looked disappointed. And it pained Louis. Had he made Tyler feel this way? Why did he feel this way??

“Ty?” Louis said, standing up slowly. He barely got his legs straight before Tyler walked up to him and forcefully pushed him backwards onto the bed. Louis grunted from the push and scrambled up the bed, with a whimper.

“Tyler! What was that for?!” Louis cried, shocked that his usually gentle boyfriend had been so rough with him. 

“Who were you talking with this morning?”

“W-what?”

“Don’t bullshit me!”

Shit, Sandra. She was- she had been good friends with Louis for a long time. Like, they were family friends, they’re mums were friends why- why did Tyler have an issue with her?

“Sandra...she’s just a friend and- I- I’m gay, Tyler I’m not interested in her-“

“Shut up and get undressed.”

_Whoa._ “Ty, cmon not while we’re fighting.”

“Do as I say, Louis.”

There was no movement in his voice. It was clear and sharp and harsh. And Louis didn’t dare disobey it. He slowly removed his shirt and pants, Tyler’s dark eyes festering and watching his every move possessively. 

When it was time for Louis to take off his underwear he hesitated,

“Tyler, I don’t like this...”

Tyler climbed onto the bed and hovered over Louis, pinning down the younger boys arms above his head. 

“I want to stop-“

“I need you to understand something, Louis,” He said, dark and fierce into Louis’ ear, “No _one...no one_ is gonna love you like I do. I’m the only one that can fuck you like this, and you will be nothing without me.”

Louis, being absolutely terrified, nodded. Frantically. He just lied there, Tyler crushing him, while he nodded intensely, in fear of what his boyfriend had planned for him. 

Next thing he knew his underwear were gone and Tyler didn’t even undress, but he got his dick out. 

He didn’t take time. He didn’t open Louis up. He didn’t take it slow. He didn’t use lube. He didn’t use a condom. He didn’t ask Louis if he was ready. He didn’t kiss Louis. He didn’t even look him in the eye. 

And Louis cried. He cried and he cried and he begged Tyler to stop. 

“Ty. Baby, please I’ve had enough I’m really sore,”

“Tyler your hurting me,”

“Please, Tyler, stop.”

_ Stop, stop, stop, stop. _

“Stop.”

Harry looked taken aback by my words. But I hadn’t meant to say them aloud. He took an instant step back and his warm hands left my body, making me feel suddenly cold and shaky. 

I quickly recovered from my slip up, “Sorry, not you.”

_ Oh, nice Louis.  _

By the look in Harry’s eyes, I knew that he was worried about me. He always was. He knew the things that were going through my head and he knew I was telling Tyler to stop in my head and it drove me crazy because I love Tyler with all my heart. 

“Stop thinking about him,” Harry said after a minute or so of me thinking. 

“I’m not,” I lied. I don’t know why.

“You just don’t see what’s right in front of you, huh?” 

“Excuse me?” My voice became much stronger here, as I developed this into more of an argument. Probably a stupid idea.

“You heard me. You have a piece of shit boyfriend and you refuse to see it and it makes me really sad for you,” Harry told me. There was conviction in his voice and I knew he was getting fed up with me. I wanted to cry but we were in the ocean and there were people around and Liam and the others were really nearby. 

“I care about you,” Is what Harry said next. 

“I know,” I didn’t lie this time. 

“Can you let me care about you?” He asked me, “Please?”

“I let you bring me to the beach,” I tried to joke.

Harry didn’t laugh, instead, he said, “Not enough, I need you away from him. And I need you to care about yourself like I do. Like Liam does. And Zayn and Niall, they care too. I promise. And if you took the time to get to know Louis Tomlinson like we do, you would probably love yourself, like I- I just need you to try.”

We spent around 30 seconds staring into each other’s souls intensely, both of us waiting for the other to speak first. 

I splashed water in his face. It was my way of saying okay. I think. At least in my head that’s how I thought of it. I was letting him in now. He could take care of me. I wasn’t ready to just let Tyler go, I loved him after all. But maybe, I’d be okay with spending more time with Harry, and allowing for him to get to know me. 

“Oh! You little prick!” Harry coughed, before splashing water back in my face. 

And we proceeded to splash water in each other’s faces, soon the other boys became involved.  
  


__ Now this, this is what it feels like to be young.   
  


** 2 days later. **

Tyler was coming home today. It was now Wednesday. My boyfriend of 2 years felt distant and foreign to me...and my friend of barely three weeks felt like my entire world. 

I sent Harry home at around midday, afraid that Tyler would be early, I didn’t want a repeat of last time. So for a few hours I read, and watched some Bake Off, and then I started making some pasta. Harry had showed me this recipe, it had garlic and olive oil and coriander. It was so simple and easy the hardest part of it was just cooking the pasta. 

That man knew exactly what I needed in life. 

Tyler got home at 4:30pm. I heard the key in the door just as I was tipping the contents of the pot, out into two bowls for the two of us. And as he walked inside I had a burning sensation in my stomach, I’m fairly certain it was fear. What if somehow Tyler had found out Harry was here? 

I brushed off those feelings and ran to the door where Tyler was standing. He had a smile on his face and my heart melted as I ran to him. I leapt up and he caught me under my thighs. We kissed and kissed and kissed and he carried me into the kitchen where I noticed he could smell dinner.

“Baby, did you cook for me?” He asked. I blushed as he put me down and tucked his hand under my chin, raising my eye-line to meet his, “You are so perfect.”

My cheeks flushed even redder and I chuckled nervously, placing my hands in Tyler’s, “I really, really missed you, Ty. I’ve missed us.”

“I know baby, me too. I know we’ve sort of had a bit of a rough patch but I’m here now. We’re okay. I love you more than life itself,”

“I love you too,” I replied almost instinctively.

Tyler let go of my hands gently and walked up to the dining table where the two plates of pasta were resting, as well as two glasses of deep red wine. 

“So, Lou. We love each other,” Tyler continued, running his fingers along the rim of one of the glasses. 

I nodded. The nervous pain in my stomach slowly returned, and I tried my best to play it cool, like his comment didn’t bother me. But something about it made me nervous, did he know something I didn’t?

“Okay, so,” Tyler spoke, stopping his actions and looking up at me, “I don’t understand why you decided to lie to me.”

_ Shit, shit shit shit, shit!  _

“I never lied-“

“SHUT UP!”

I instantly closed my mouth, as well as my eyes, just awaiting the rough of it. I knew Tyler would make a mess of me now. He knew I was lying, he knew Harry was here. 

_ He knows everything. _

Tyler picked up a wine glass, “You. Smell. Of. _Him,_ ” He spat, taking a step towards me on each word.

I stayed still, eyes barely open, just enough to make out Tyler movements but not enough to see his facial expressions. I was squinting, almost waiting for a slap. But when it didn’t come, I opened my eyes fully, to see Tyler standing about a metre away from me, looking at me, holding the wine glass in his right hand, while his left hand was left by his side. 

I didn’t dare speak, so we just stood there, in the worst silence I had ever been in. After what I thought was about 3 hours, Tyler said to me, “Explain.”

This was him telling me I could talk, he was giving me the chance to explain myself. This was my only chance to escape whatever Tyler had planned for me. 

“On Saturday I hung out with Liam. We went to a bar, like we used to and...anyway. When I got home I- I felt sick, like really sick and I thought I was dying! So- so um, Harry came over to- to apologise to m- to both of us. For the barbecue night thing. And he noticed I was sick and I- I actually passed out and when I woke up he had taken me to the hospital.”

Tyler’s face showed no emotion, he was unreadable and it terrified me.

“The nurse said I...” _Shit_ , “I had one to many concussions...it sort of, it fucked me over. I- I overworked myself. She asked how I got the concussions-“

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t tell her anything,” I noticed my voice become firmer and instantly tried to calm myself down. 

A few more seconds passed before Tyler walked towards me. 

I walked backwards.

He slowly got closer, and I slower got further. Closer and closer to the door, just incase, right? I was ready, for a quick escape. I knew where I could go and I knew I’d be safe there. I could calm down and come back and deal with Tyler when he wasn’t worked up like this. 

I didn’t have the guts.

My back hit the wall of the living room, and soon enough, I was trapped. Tyler only a metre or so from me again, and we stared each other down, so intensely I thought my head may explode. 

Tyler raised the arm with the wine glass, so the glass was at his own eye level. He looked me up and down, with the most disgust I had ever seen in him. It made me feel unworthy, it made me feel pathetic and small and ugly and fat. It made me hate myself like I hate him.

_ I hate you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you. _

“I hate you.”

_ Did I say that out loud?  _

That was when Tyler’s facial expression finally changed. To pure anger. His face went red, his nostrils flared. 

He threw the glass of wine directly at my face. Lucky for me, I ducked just in time, but the glass smashed loudly and violently against the wall above my head, the wine and glass raining down upon me, cutting my skin as it fell. I slowly met Tyler’s eyes, hands still raised in fear, and he met my gaze with a fuming look. 

“I’m going to fucking end you,” He said calmly. 

He charged at me, arms extended, hands instantly wrapping around my neck, pressing me into the wine stained wall. I gasped for air as I tried to pry his hands from my throat. 

“Tyler!” I screamed through the hold, “Ugh...let me go!”

I kicked my feet out vigorously, hitting him once in the balls, causing him to let go of my neck. 

I ducked around him and ran back towards the kitchen, my instinct telling me to run for the knives, but I knew I wasn’t planning on killing the man so I thought again and grabbed the large wooden chopping board. As Tyler ran towards me I held it behind my right shoulder, like how I used to play golf with Liam.

When Tyler got close, my adrenaline hit me like a brick and I swung the board around to hit him across the face. Blood shot across the room, I didn’t even know where it came from but fuck it felt good. 

“You FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!” He screamed in pain, collapsing to the floor, holding his bleeding nose. Standing above him at this point, gave me this beautiful sense of power. I felt strong. 

I slowly snuck by him and attempted to run for the door, but before I got there a hand grabbed my right leg, taking me down to the ground of the living room. 

Tyler climbed over the top of me as I laid on my stomach on the floor, “Get off me!” I screamed, groaning in pain under Tyler’s weight. He pressed his lips to my ear and held my hands in place next to my head. 

“Shhhh, Lou,” He muttered in my ear, biting the lobe roughly, surely drawing blood, “Gonna fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk or talk for days,” In his breath I could smell the chemicals, and I tried again to wriggle from his grip, and failed.

“You’re drunk!” I cried, “Don’t do this to me! I thought you loved me!”

“I do, slut,” He whispered, “I do, so trust me with this.”

His hands travelled down my back and he roughly pulled my trackies and underwear down to my knees. I wriggled more and kicked my feet, screaming and screaming trying to get him to leave me alone. He ran his fingers along my crack and kneaded my cheeks, “Yeah, shake for me baby...”

“NO!” I yelled, forcing my body to roll over despite Tyler’s weight. I made it onto my side before Tyler pinned me down on my stomach again. He pressed two fingers into my hole, aggressively. He pushed them all the way and I yelled in pain, “It hurts! Ty, STOP! PLEASE STOP!” I don’t think I’ve ever yelled that loud in my life. I felt as though the entire neighbourhood could hear me.

Soon his fingers were gone and he replaced them with his already hard dick. I knew it. I knew that that was how he got off. Seeing me struggle and fight his actions. He loved raping me. 

I groaned, because it burned more than anything I’d ever felt. 

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” 

This was when my elbow swung back and met his rib cage. He yelped and jumped back, dick roughly being yanked from my ass. I took this opportunity to crawl away, while attempting to pull up my trackies and stand. 

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

The front door.

“Lou! LOUIS!” 

_ Harry... _

I ran to the door at what felt like the speed of light and I could hear the footsteps stomping behind me, Tyler was actually chasing me. It was the most horrifying feeling, knowing there was someone right behind me, running, ready to do unspeakable things to me. 

I made it to the door and I managed to turn the lock to unlock it but Tyler collided with my back and smashed my body into the door. I felt all my bones bruise as all of Tyler’s force pushed me against the hard wood of the door. My head hit it the hardest, and I knew it was bad because I could barely feel it. The adrenaline had cancelled out the pain. 

I fell to the ground with a thump, barely able to see or keep my head up. 

_ One too many concussions. _

I felt Tyler grip onto me and try to pull me. But the front door opened. 

The next thing I heard was yelling and screaming and banging. The police sirens drowned out everything else, and I closed my eyes. As I laid on the hard wood floor, eyes closed, I felt somewhat peaceful, and calm. I actually thought I was going to die, this was it.

_ This is how it ends, Lou. You can relax now. _

_ And all of the voices, _

_ Surrounding us here, _

_ They just fade out when you take a breath. _

_ Just say the word and I will disappear, _

_ Into the wilderness... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who didn’t feel comfortable to read this chapter:  
> Louis and Harry go to the beach together and Harry tells Louis to let him in.   
> Tyler returns home from his work trip and smells Harry on Louis, causing him to lash out at Louis. He attacks him and tries to rape him and successfully starts to until Louis breaks free from the situation.   
> Harry hears the commotion and thankfully calls the police. When Harry bangs on the door Louis tries to open it and Tyler manages to bang Louis’ head against the door, causing Louis to fall and become extremely faint. The last we hear is Harry and Tyler fighting and the sound of police sirens and that’s the end of the chapter :) 
> 
> Thankyou so much for reading!!! We got 1000 hits which is cool :)


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is in the hospital and Harry is there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit confronting for Louis in this chapter. Mentions of rape.

Harry’s POV

It wasn’t too long after I saw Tyler’s car pull into the driveway, when I heard the yelling. I couldn’t make out the words but I knew what was going on. I made a break for the door but a firm hand on my shoulder stopped me. It was Liam.

“Mate, whatever’s happening over there, that man can beat you to the ground,” He said to me, seriously.

“What?” I raised my voice a little, “You cant expect me to do nothing-“

“I’m not!” Liam shot back, before holding out his phone, “Call the police first.”

I desperately grabbed the phone from Liams hand and dialled 999, pressing the phone to my ear as I peaked out the window again. 

“999, what’s your emergency-“

“Police! Please I need the police!” I cried. There was a slight click and the police answered the phone.

I explained the situation and they sent the police our way, asking me to stay where I was and to stay on the line. I stayed on the line sure but I left the house, despite Liams bickering in my ear. I only went out to the road, just in order to be near, to listen. I was just a few steps onto the road when I heard a glass smash and my heart throbbed, pained that I couldn’t get in there. I understood that Tyler could beat the shit out of me but...I’d rather him beat the shit out of me than beat the shit out of Lou. 

That’s when I started to hear the screaming.

“You FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

Tyler. Fuck, Lou was in there all alone with this crazed man who was trying to hurt him. 

“I can hear him yelling, please hurry up!” I cried into the phone. The officers assured they were only a minute or two away. But my chest still ached at the thought of what Tyler could be doing to Louis. 

Within the next 30 seconds I heard Louis’ voice, yelling and screaming, and I couldn’t hear him enough to understand each word. It was just muffled screams and a few bangs every now and again. The next thing I was able to hear was Louis saying, “It hurts! Ty, STOP! PLEASE, STOP!” 

That was a breaking point. I ran, faster than ever, up Louis and Tyler’s front porch and tried the lock before pounded aggressively on the door. 

_ BANG! BANG! BANG!  _

“Lou?” I said, “LOUIS!” I repeated louder when there was no response. I heard some grunting and scrambling and felt a glimpse of hope as I thought maybe Louis was making it to the door. But I felt my hope drown in pain as the door unlocked, but then shook with a sudden bang. And I knew what that sound was. I’m not exactly sure how, but I knew that bang was Louis’ body being forcefully and aggressively shoved into the door. 

The blue and red lights shined behind me and I turned to see the police had arrived, I hadn’t even had my ear to the phone, and I didn’t even stop to speak to them I just opened the now unlocked door and ran inside. Louis was lying on the floor near the door, looking pretty much unconscious, and Tyler stood, not far from Louis, with the most angry, and harsh look on his face. 

“The fuck you doing here?!” Tyler yelled at me.

“Fuck you!” I spat back at him as the cops ran in behind me. I noticed an ambulance had pulled up out front as well, probably a precaution but it was very needed right now. The cops held down Tyler and another one came to me, asking to see my identification. I showed him, while keeping an eye on Louis as his barely awake body was being lifted onto a stretcher. I walked to one of the paramedics and said, “Can I...”

I could barely finish my sentence, looking down at Louis, this poor sweet kid, who never really got the chance to grow up, to be his own person, to live the life he wanted to live, to love himself. I got choked up. My eyes stung with tears. And the paramedic put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Yes, you can come in the ambulance.”

And for those moments in the ambulance, with Louis lying there, unconscious, weak, vulnerable, I thought he was the strongest person in the world. Stronger than me. For sure. I took his petite little hand in mine, gently, so as not to hurt him. And I sung softly, hoping that maybe, somewhere in there, he would hear me.

_ “And all of the voices, _

_ Surrounding us here,  _

_ They just fade out, when you take a breath.  _

_ Just say the word,  _

_ And I will disappear, _

_ Into the wilderness.”  _

I’m so in love. 

Louis POV

The fact that I’d just woken up in the hospital for the second time in a week was weirdly disturbing. This time though, when I woke up, I wasn’t expecting Tyler, nor did I want to see him. I expected Harry, I wanted Harry, and he was there. Kneeling next to my bed, with his head leaning just against my thigh, fast asleep. He looked drained, and I felt a wave of guilt come over me, knowing I’d caused that. But I brushed it off, because Harry would hate it if I had said that aloud. 

When I moved slightly, Harry opened his eyes and sat up, all droopy and adorable. 

“Lou? Wh-“ Harry groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“Wakey, wakey, mumbles,” I chuckled, and as I did my ribs throbbed dramatically, and I held my hands to my stomach, gasping in pain. 

Harry leapt up to sit on the bed, resting his hands against my arms. 

“Hey, easy,” He soothed. Rubbing small circles against my skin. My mood dropped heavily as I realised just how painful this situation was. Physically and mentally. My head was pounding like never before, my back and my ribs were aching, not to mention my bum. The burn felt like it would never leave this time and I wondered if he tore something in me. 

“He- he tried to-“ I started before choking on a sob and breaking down. Harry wrapped his long arms around me and we hugged for a few minutes until I was able to control my cries enough to speak again, “He’s never been that bad before.”

Harry dropped his head, and shook it lightly, “Lou, that man is insane,” He held my hands in his.

“He r-“ I couldn’t even get that word out. I’d never said it before, “He raped me, Harry.” My voice broke as I said it and I knew I was going to cry again so I just shut up eyes for a few seconds to gather myself. I heard Harry sniffle and wondered if this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting me. Is it possible to care so much for someone you have only known for a few weeks? When you spend every day with them...sure. 

“I know he did,” Harry said to me, “I know. He’s done so many bad things to you hasn’t he?” 

I nodded, pouting involuntarily. I looked up to meet Harry’s eyes, and I saw something in him.

I think I would all it anxiety. 

I never suffered from anxiety. I had my ups and downs with depression and my battles with hormones. But I never had diagnosed anxiety. And when I saw that look in Harry’s eyes, I wondered if he had. His face had almost no expression, but the look, the one that rested behind the green of his eyes, just screamed, ‘I feel like I can’t breathe and I cant catch a break but I want you to be okay so here I am.”

That _hurt_ me. 

Crazy how I was just beaten, raped, and taken from my home and- _this_ was what hurt the most. 

“Are you okay?” I asked him, desperate to know what was going on behind those eyes.

“Of course, darling,” He replied, but the anxiety was still visible to me, “You don’t need to worry about me, alright?”

I scanned his face with my eyes, one last time, before deciding to let it slide. He would talk to me when he felt comfortable to. 

“Okay,” I said.

“You’re beautiful.”

“No I’m not...”

“Don’t argue with me, Squirmy.”

The door opened. A young, brunette, male nurse walked in. With a clipboard and one of those heart listening thingy’s. 

“Louis!” The nurse said, “How are we feeling?”

I looked to Harry, who gave me a cute smile, then I said, “Um, alright.”

The nurse looked at me, lowering his clipboard, “You don’t need to lie, Louis.”

“Ok fine then, I think I might be dying,” I said, dryly, but also truthfully. The nurse chuckled and nodded before taking a seat on the other side of my bed. 

“I’m Kael,” The nurse spoke, “I’m gonna make sure you make it out of this place as pain free as possible. And with all your limbs,” He added on the end, I knew it was to make me laugh, so I giggled a little. 

“Okay, Louis, who do we have hear with us?” Kael said, nodding towards Harry.

“Um, that’s my friend, Harry,” I said, pretending to ignore Harry’s faltering smile.

“I can go if you like,” Harry said, mainly to me. I shook my head vigorously, knowing I’d barely make it five seconds without him in the room. 

Kael chuckled, “Looks like Louis wants you here, Harry. Your more than welcome to stay.” 

Harry nodded and smiled, his hand still clutched to mine. 

“Just a few questions for you, Louis,” Kael said, “Where abouts are you experiencing pain at the moment?”

“My back, my ribs, definitely my head. And...”

I glanced at Harry, who looked at me dumbfounded, then I looked to Kael, praying he wouldn’t make me say it. 

“Yep, you don’t need to say it,” Kael smiled. Thank fuck for this man. 

It seemed to click with Harry then, but he said nothing. 

“Ok, so the pain in your head, is it everywhere? Or focused on one specific area?” 

“My eyes, like my eye sockets, it’s infuriating,” I groaned, the throbbing continuing to piss me off. Kael scribbled down a few things before speaking again,

“And the pain in your bum, how’s that on a scale from 1-10.”

I internally sighed, wishing I had let Harry leave the room, “I don’t know, it’s pretty bad...like 9?” I said, awkwardly scratching the back for my neck.

“Okay, I’m going to need to get a doctor in to take a look, would you prefer a male or a female.”

No, no, no. 

“I don’t want to do that,” I said, worryingly. 

Kael looked sympathetic, but said, “I know, it sucks. But it needs to be done-“

“Whyyyy?” I groaned, sounding a lot like a little kid that didn’t want to go to bed. 

“Well, there could have been damage done, tears, infections, if there was no protection used,” As soon as Kael spoke I wish I hadn’t asked. 

There was a few seconds of silence, Harry hadn’t once stopped rubbing his thumb over my hand.

“Female.” 

Another few seconds of silence. 

“I’m gay, female is less embarrassing on my behalf,” I added, to clarify my choice. Kael just smiled and nodded. He told me he would be a few minutes and then he would come back with a doctor to do the checkup. Once he left Harry finally spoke.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“Yeah, well, I am,” I snapped.

Harry didn’t flinch, didn’t even react, he just said, “I know. But you don’t need to be. I’ll leave, of course, but. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

I didn’t reply. But I allowed Harry to continue lightly caressing my hand. As a signal that I wasn’t mad. Just upset. 

“You’re beautiful,” Harry whispered.

“You said that already,” I whispered back.

“I know.”

We broke out into a little bit of laughter. 

Soon the Doctor came in, with Kael, and Harry stood up leave. But I squeezed his hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

“I’ll be right outside the door,” He assured me. Reluctantly, I let go. And Harry left. 

The check up only took a few minutes. And it was the most uncomfortable few minutes of my life. Having someone feeling around that area just to look, was the worst feeling in the world. 

And by the end of it, turns out it was just a bit of swelling and irritation and they said I’d need a cream to put on it for a few days. 

_ I hate my life. _

When Harry returned, he didn’t ask any questions, and I was so glad. He just sat down in the same place he was in before. And ran a hand through his hair.

“When you get out of here you can stay with us for as long as you need.”

“Harry, you barely have room for Liam...and who knows how long he’s staying,” I said, genuinely not wanting to intrude.

“Liam has been sleeping in Zayns room for a while now. I’ll take the couch and you can have my room-“

“No! No- look I’ll stay with you. But I’m taking the couch. Keep your room, Mumbles,” I spoke, hoping Harry would agree. He did. I think he was just happy I was saying with him. 

I figured that maybe from now on things would get better. I thought that Tyler would be out of life, despite the fact that I was still mad for him. 

I should have known better...

...I should have known fucking better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one. Let me know where you think the story is going. I wanna see your predictions.  
> Remember to comment and leave kudos :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is trying to settle in with Harry. He’s trying to work through his past and his embarrassment, while we see a little bit of the struggles Harry has encountered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter :) hope you enjoy

Louis’ POV

It took me a while to settle in at Harry’s. Of course, Liam being there did help me a lot. I wondered if he ever actually planned to go home, or if maybe meeting Zayn caused him to stay. I didn’t mind though. I was glad he stayed. I think he was too.

I was sitting up in Harry’s room, about to sleep in his bed for the second time, when I heard a soft knock at the door. 

“It’s Harry,” His voice soothed from the other side of the door. 

“Come in,” I replied. The door opened slowly and Harry poked his head through.

“You left this in your coat,” He held up the prescribed cream that the doctor had given me for...oh shit that’s embarrassing. 

I think he sensed the embarrassment, or maybe I was blushing, but he walked in and placed the cream on my bed- _his_ bedside table. Then gave me a little smile before heading back to the door. Just as he was about to leave he turned to face me and said, “You alright?” 

I nodded, just praying he would turn around and leave me to wallow in my depression alone. 

“I’m not just gonna leave you here to feel like shit, Lou.”

_ For fucks sake.  _

“I’m embarrassed,” I spoke plainly, while still avoiding eye contact, “I hate this.”

Harry walked over to me again, sitting on the edge of my bed tentatively. He looked as if he wanted to reach out, maybe touch my hand? But he visibly held himself still, I knew he was trying to make me feel comfortable. But I wanted him to...I liked him.

“I just-“ I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. Well, I actually wanted to ask him for advice. I had this cream that was for the most uncomfortable and awkward part of my body, and I had to put it on every morning and night until I was fully healed. I wanted to ask him how to stop feeling embarrassed. How to stop feeling like a piece of meat, to stop feeling hopeless. Useless. Pathetic. To stop looking at myself in the mirror and thinking ‘ugly’, ‘fat’, ‘no ones going to love you like he did’. 

I hated myself, and I didn’t know how to stop. 

“Louis, I’m not going to act as if I know everything about you,” Harry started. And although I knew he was right, as we hadn’t known each other that long, I felt as though he knew me a thousand times better than Tyler ever did, “But, I know that your stronger than you think you are. You’re bright, and fun. You just need to unwind, take the time to be young. Get your youth back, enjoy it. Embrace it. Spend your time going to the beach and hanging out with people your age. Getting drunk at bars, passing out, throwing up, regretting all your life choices the next day. It’s a part of growing up, it makes us who we are, and you missed out on it. Because a no good, piece of shit, insecure, lonely old man, chose you to torture. You never deserved that, and I promise you that as long as I know you, nothing like that will ever happen to you again. Do you understand?”

I picked up the cream on my bedside table, playing with the tube in my hands, and I finally brought myself to make eye contact with the man sitting in front of me. The green in his eyes reminded me of fresh limes on a hot summers day. That refreshment I spent the last 2 years craving. 

_ Should this be the last thing I see?  _

_ I’m so in love.  _

“What’s that for?” Harry asked me, not at all condescending, just genuine. He was interested. In me. In my life. In my health. My stories. My everything. He was interested in me.

I pulled my shoulders up to my ears and breathed deeply, before chuckling and ‘jokingly’ adding, “My bum.” 

He knew I wasn’t joking, but he still smiled. 

“Did he do much damage?” 

I just nodded. I returned my gaze to my lap, finding it difficult to hold eye contact with Harry while we talked about how being raped affected my literal asshole. 

“Are you okay?” Harry questioned, his voice almost falling to a whisper. 

“Probably not,” Was my answer. Harry’s hand made its way to the underneath of my chin, lifting my head slightly. 

We sat in silence, with Harry’s hand resting on my chin, our eyes locked with such intensity that I thought for a second he would maybe kiss me. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that but I knew that if he started something I wouldn’t have the ability to say no. Not after Tyler.

But Harry wasn’t Tyler. I knew that. I did. So I asked him, “Can you stay?”

He nodded. Adjusting his position to come lie next to me, although he hesitated at first and I raised an eyebrow at him in question. He eyed the cream and said, “You need to start using that.”

As I felt the embarrassment wash over me, I started to feel panicked and uncomfortable again. But when Harry’s warm hand fell over mine, and I saw him getting into the bed next to me, I shook off the negative feeling, and clutched the tube in my hand, standing up and making my way to the bathroom. Applying the cream was weird, but afterwards I felt a strange sense of relief. It was extremely soothing, and eased the pain.

So when I made my way back to Harry, I was able to relax my muscles, and lay next to him comfortably. I allowed an arm to fall onto his chest lightly. And I felt him tense when I did it. Which made my heart flutter, as I knew that little things like that made him nervous. I knew that Harry suffered from anxiety, but I didn’t know that much about it, or how it affected him. Maybe we would get closer and I would learn. I wanted to learn everything about it. 

Just as I drifted off, Harry’s fingers began to lightly trace my spine, and his angel voice blessed my ears another time. 

_ “Lumiere, darling, _

_ Lumiere, over me.  _

_ Lumiere, darling, _

_ Lumiere, over me.” _

When my sleep filled voice asked Harry what Lumiere meant, I could feel the smile in his voice. He took a deep breath.

“I believe it’s French for ‘light’. Like the Disney character. The candle.” 

“Light, darling?” I questioned, as my way of asking how those lyrics made any sense. Instead of explaining the song to me, Harry just ran his fingers through my hair, instantly making me sleepy again, and my eyes slowly began to close. 

“Light,” He spoke, “Over me.”

It somehow clicked for me then. I don’t know exactly what did it. 

It was me. I was the light. I _am_ the light. 

Harry had sung to me 3 out of 4 verses of this song, and he sung me a chorus, and the bridge. I saw it now. I saw myself as broken, as damaged goods. Useless, worthless. But Harry saw me differently. He was so distracted by the little things about me. My hair, my clothes, my _eyes._ I had the look in my eyes, as if no one knew anything but us. And he was falling in love with me, as I was with him. 

All the voices and the lies and the people who talk too much, would just fade out, as I took a breath. And all I had to do was say the word, and he was disappear. He would leave or...he would stop. If I asked him to. 

Lumiere wasn’t referring to a light bulb, or a candle. Lumiere was me. I was the light.

Harry’s POV.

He is my light. My Lumiere. My darling. As we laid in my bed, limbs resting together, bodies pressed, I sang those simple lines to him, the ones I knew he would understand one day. Whether that be today, or years from now, he would understand one day. He was so light, he was so beautiful, it distracted me from the outside conflict. He could be as fucked up as he liked, and I still would love him the same. He blinded me from my own conflicts as well as his own. My anxieties, everything that I had wallowed over for years. The fears I felt just from leaving the house. From receiving a glance from someone, or a tone of voice I was unfamiliar with. His light was so blinding that I just- those things just slipped my mind. When I sung Lumiere, I sung to him, I was speaking to him. 

_ Louis, darling.  _

_ Louis, over me.  _

There was one verse I had not sung yet. I was waiting for the right time. Because I knew that after singing that, I could sing to him the chorus a second time, and then, he would finally believe me.

I was so, so, so in love with him. 

So, when I sung that final verse, he would be ready. Ready to believe me. Ready to let me in. Ready to love me. 

“I love you.” 

The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them and I almost clamped my hand over my lips in shock but the room was still. Louis did not speak, nor stir.

He was fast asleep. 

He only stirred a few hours later. It was about 1am. He sleepily pushed me away from him with a groan and a mutter of words I couldn’t quite understand. 

“Lou?” I whispered softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. The second I made that contact he began to thrash. I was almost certain he was still asleep, but the fear was real and he was aware of my presence. Probably thought I was Tyler, trying to get something out of him. 

I took my hand away, but whispered softly, “It’s me, darling. It’s Harry.” 

He calmed slightly, only slowing his movements while his breath remained fast pace along with his heart rate. 

“Shhh,” I soothed. I hummed the tune of our song softly while stroking his hair. Soon enough he was lulled back into a deep sleep. And I stopped singing. I returned to my position lying next to him, but kept my hand in his hair.

Just when I thought Louis had gone back to a deep sleep, through the dark of my bedroom, I saw his eyes gently open. And even though the room was too dark for me to see his face, I could see the blue of his eyes. 

How was that even possible? 

And the corners of Louis’ mouth upturned ever so slightly, before his eyes returned shut. 

Then seven soft and gorgeous words left his mouth in a whisper, as he linked his hand with mine...

“You look so wonderful in this light.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...  
> I wanted to include Harry’s anxiety in this. I’ve suffered from diagnosed anxiety for a long time and I feel like a lot of people are very uneducated on the topic. It’s not just feeling nervous, it’s an entire trait that overtakes your 24/7. I want to showcase that in Harry’s character.   
> Hope everyone liked this chapter. Xx


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry wake up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this. Little hint at sexual content but it’s all in the tags anyway so if you don’t wanna read that stuff then what- why are you here?

Harry’s POV

Something changed the morning after that night. I knew that Louis was aware of my feelings, he knew I knew. But I didn’t know how he felt. 

He was a closed book, of course I understood that he thought of me differently to the other boys. And to be honest, I knew that Louis felt some sort of romantic feelings towards me, but I didn’t know when he would feel comfortable enough to tell me, or to be with me. What if he was too scared to be in another relationship? What if I couldn’t take care of him? What if he was too afraid to have sex? Could I manage going without it? 

I couldn’t stand being as overwhelmed as this. It was like I was constantly exhausted and frustrated, when all I really wanted to do was be with Louis. To be his and have him be mine. To make him feel like he has a home and a life and people who love and care for him. 

As I laid in bed that morning, with Louis’ face pressed into my chest, his breathing matching mine, I almost cried. He was so angelic looking and beautiful. 

His eyes fluttered open when I shifted slightly to look at him, and his blue eyes met my green ones. 

He breathed deeply and rasped, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I replied, my voice thick with sleep.

Louis hummed ever so slightly and my heart melted, while I forced my smile to go away. He cuddled further into my side, and I pulled him into me tightly.

“Best sleep I’ve had in a long time,” I told him truthfully. Being constantly anxious and overthinking 24/7 kept me up at night but whenever I was with Louis I felt like I didn’t need to be thinking about anything but him. 

“Agreed,” Was Louis’ response. I lifted a hand slowly and carefully as to not scare him, and gently ran my fingers through his hair. I felt his body relax into mine and knew how much he liked this.

“Feels good,” Louis mumbled, with a soft groan that drove me crazy and honestly went straight to my lower region. I frantically allowed anything other than that thought of fucking Louis senseless to enter my mind. While attempting to think about the footy game from the other night, I eventually stopped moving my hand through Louis’ hair, and was brought back to reality with a little nudge from the adorable boy. 

“Don’t stop,” He pleaded, his breathing way too loud for me not to be turned on.

“Needy, are we?” I responded, trying to use humour to deflect from the fact that I was slowly getting a semi.

“Hey!” He laughed, “Mean,” He added, sticking his tongue out at me while keeping his eyes closed. I smiled at his antics and continued to play with his hair. 

I subconsciously wrapped a bit of his hair around my finger and gave it a light tug, just enough to feel nice rather than hurting. When I did so, Louis released a soft breath, something along the lines of a whispered moan. And I lost it. My trackies were slowly tightening and I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. Louis then shifted, his foot slowly creeping up my leg, and his leg finding a comfortable spot with his knee way too close to the area I was desperately trying to keep under control. 

He must have felt my body go stiff from the stress because he began to gently run his fingers up and down my forearm. I relaxed a little, but not too much. 

Louis opened his eyes, and looked innocently up at me. He then closed them again and sighed.

“I’m not judging you,” He said, but a smirk formed on his face. I laughed and covered my face with my hands. He called me out. How did he even know? I hid my blush in my palms and Louis sat up, now laughing as well. 

“Geez, Harold, keep it in your pants,” He joked, sitting on his knees facing me. I stayed lying down with my hands over my face.

“Leave me alone, it’s the morning!” I cried, half joking, half completely embarrassed. Louis placed his hand just underneath my rib cage and wiggled his fingers, making me jump at the ticking sensation. Louis’ face lit up and mine filled with fear.

“Ticklish?” He asked me, bringing back that smirk. Where had this side of him been all this time?!

“No, I am not,” I spoke clearly, but Louis looked ready to attack, “I’m not-“ 

But before I could finish, Louis jumped on me, tickling my sides as I rolled around in a fit of laughter. 

“The Harry Styles!” Louis yells, as if announcing my name to the world, “The Mr. Harry Styles is ticklish!” 

I managed to grip his wrists with my hand, and now had the upper hand as I was slightly stronger than Louis. 

“A-ha!” I shouted. He struggled against my grip a little, before shaking me off and resting his hands next to my head as he straddled my hips. Now that the tickling was over, I realised where his hips were placed and my horny mind decided to come into play again. 

Louis’ face changed when he felt me get hard again. His smile faded, but he didn’t look upset, it was more...concentration. Our eyes locked and I thought maybe he would say something or back away. But instead he slowly and ever so slightly rolled his hips. It was such a subtle movement I wasn’t even sure if he had done it on purpose. But after that one movement, he looked me dead it the eye and bit his bottom lip, in the most seductive and gorgeous way. My dick was getting harder by the second, and Louis rolled his hips one more time, this time rolling them back again. And while the movements were still very small, they were definitely prominent, and soon enough, he was grinding on me. His hips moved beautifully against my groin and I wanted to cry at the sensation.

It wasn’t until Louis closed his eyes and parted his lips, huffing out a little breath, that I slid my hands up his thighs to rest on his hips. He continued to move against me and i bucked my hips up a little with each time he pushed into me, desperately trying to get more friction. 

Louis opened his eyes and looked at me, “Fuck,” He breathed, the sound going straight to my dick. His voice was just beautiful and I wondered what he would sound like while being fucked.

I brought my fingers up to his face and ran them along his bottom lip, “Gorgeous,” I whispered. 

All Louis did in response to my comment was shake his head. And it was that, that one thing that brought me back to reality and realised who I was doing this with. Realised that this man who’s grinding down on my dick so sensually, who’s biting his lip and moaning, was the same one who’s been raped and abused for two years. He’d been putting on an act exactly like this for years now. Who’s to say he wasn’t doing that right now? 

I held his hips still, and he looked at me, confused. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked me. I physically had to force the words out of my mouth, but I said, 

“I think we should stop.”

Louis sat up properly and tilted his head, his eyes saddening, “Not good enough?” He questioned, innocently. I almost bolted upright, holding Louis’ face in my hands.

“Lou, no! Darling, you are perfect,” I lightly brushed my knuckles against his cheekbone, while he stared at me, eyes wide with confusion, “Louis, I promise you, I would love to keep going, but-“

“I’m damaged goods, I get it,” Louis said, brushing me off and standing from the bed. He pulled his shirt down to cover the little bit of skin that was showing and fixed his hair awkwardly. 

My jaw dropped at his statement and I stood up as well, “Louis-“

“I don’t wanna hear it, Harry,” He said, sternly. 

“No but-“

“Look,” Louis spoke, turning to face me, “I shouldn’t have assumed that you were into me like that, okay? It was dumb. I understand why you wouldn’t want that so let’s just forget it happened-“

“Louis!” I raised my voice at him, and when I did I instantly regretted it. Seeing the way he jumped at the volume of my voice made my chest throb and I quickly softened my tone, “I’m sorry, can you just listen to me?”

Louis nodded without missing a beat. 

Poor thing.

“Louis, that’s not what this is about. I just don’t want to take things too far, or do anything that your not ready for, can you understand that?” I told him. I reached out to touch him but he recoiled. Not in fear, just in frustration. 

“Yeah, I understand.”

And then he was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Leave kudos and comment I really appreciate it!


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